


something about us (해와 달)

by onlywheniwalkaway



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Ambitious But Rubbish, Angst, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Despair, Experimental Style, Father Figures, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kim Jongdae | Chen-centric, M/M, Military Inaccuracies, Pining, Suicide, this gets dark as it progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:15:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 36,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26253256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlywheniwalkaway/pseuds/onlywheniwalkaway
Summary: a man in despair meets a man in love.
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	something about us (해와 달)

**Author's Note:**

> It took me a really long time to finish this 'healthily' because Jongin's emotions are dark... 
> 
> Yeah, you've been warned.

* * *

**Kim Jongin | 김종인**

**Status: Retired**

**Kim Jongdae | 김종대  
**

**Status: In love**

* * *

🌸

You could call him a fool, and he would agree.

You could call him a smartass, and he would agree.

A fool for hoping too much.

A smartass for knowing too much.

In his apartment, the alcohol helped. The fridge didn't have anything sustainable, but it didn't matter at this point.

The weight of his arm grew heavier. It was getting harder to go on each day. He got himself a glass. His right hand pressed just enough to pour the wine. Maybe, he should get something stronger than wine.

 _Fuck_. Fragile glass littered over the counter space. The wine seeped into his black jeans, his thighs cold, reminding him of how real this was. He was getting a little rusty. Hands trembled from just opening up a wine bottle.

Parts of him wanted to give up so bad, but parts of him wanted to stay. 

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧-𝐚𝐡.

The last message his best friend ever given him.

🌸

His feelings awry. Alone Jongin walked the almighty bridge connecting Korea altogether. The city lights flickering around him, unable to light up his mind. The breeze burned at where he could still feel. His eyes could no longer focus. Wandering.

Where should he be?

 _"Here!"_ a voice. A beautiful one, but in his mind, it was too good to be true.

Jongin looked back at him. The man was certainly petite. Even from this far, his eyes were still shining with that glint of innocence that he once had. His hair dancing with current, a hint of a light chocolate tone. The white shirt he wore blinded his darkened soul if he even had one.

The abrasive wind blew through the restless night, but here they were, in the middle of the bridge.

His hands stayed rigid in his long coat's pockets. He tried not to show any interest. Keeping his eyes blinking rate as low as possible.

Finally, he was so much closer now. Stepping into the streetlight whereas he stayed in the shadows.

The first thing that took away all of the walls he had built for so long ... the smile. He couldn't stand it. His eye smile crinkled too much that it hurt him. Such youthful innocence. The little tilt in his head. So precious.

 _"...You're... everything I imagined to be."_ The smaller man said with such certainty that even Jongin was taken aback.

He couldn't really find anything to reply to a statement of that kind.

_"Sorry... My name is Kim Jongdae... Weird, isn't it?"_

Suddenly, Jongin had the desperate urge to get away, not wanting any part of this while Jongdae just simply took his silence as an answer and turned to the railing, jumping at them and watching the river from above. An air of childish curiosity folded around Jongdae, something that he didn't want to disturb.

Jongdae looked so pretty under the light that Jongin's eyes were brimming with fear.

_"Take me home?"_

🌸

He opened the door to his apartment. One that he was proud of calling his. At least there was something in his life that was his. The purple must have burned Jongdae's fragile face. Not much of a mess. Everything was in place, except for his feelings.

_"Wah~"_

Setting his coat on the rack, Jongin turned to Jongdae who was roaming around his space, inspecting with little gasps spilling from his lips like everything amused him.

 _"It's very...[colorful](https://em.wattpad.com/4368fcea541d7ea161862388110cb25233994278/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f6f464150613338467a34537941773d3d2d3736323038353233352e313562336639663063616361656432363633333337313430313537372e6a7067?s=fit&w=1280&h=1280),"_ Jongdae whispered staring at the different neon lights adorning the ceiling. _"I didn't expect that from you."_ Of course, his eyes were then glued to the stuffed animals on his beds. _"Oh, dear! You have a unicorn!"_

Jongin stayed back and watched how Jongdae interacted with his belongings.

Hugging the turquoise unicorn snuggly, Jongdae walked about the place, his small hands tracing the walls littered with abstract art, pictures, and photographs. Some of them were children's drawings. One was placed on the fridge which was for Jongdae to open and from his reactions, Jongin could tell that once more Jongdae was entertained, to say the least.

 _Water, wine, and beer._ Jongin could tell Jongdae's lips move accordingly with that pinkish hue that got him lost.

 _"You are ... I must say. You intrigue me, Jongin-ah."_ So, Jongdae already knew of his name. That was expected. _"Such an intimidating look you put on, but you're just a softie, aren't you?"_ The blue and yellow neon on the ceiling depicting the night sky had Jongdae in a trance. _"I love it."_

It was a weird combination that he was aware of, himself. Jongin loved the colors, he loved the meaning behind it, what he was given. But these days, his dying soul outgrew the aesthetics. Not that he stopping loving it. Jongin just stopped noticing them. Color dancing all around him, but he himself had no color.

 _"Jongin-ah."_ Jongdae finally turned to him. _"Please say my name."_

Jongin blinked, his feet planted on his soft greenish grassy carpet. It was strange that Jongdae had gone this far without getting bored with him.

_"I want to hear your voice, Jongin-ah."_

The fact that Jongdae was actually getting closer to him now broke him out of his trance. Jongin didn't know what he had been thinking. He was just staring at the smaller man so much, he couldn't really think straight.

 _"Jongin-ah."_ A whisper.

He could feel Jongdae's toes touching his, cold and soft. Jongdae's breath tickled his lips. So close. He could see his own anxious face in Jongdae's eyes. Those chocolate eyes were really pulling him in. He liked staring at them, he realized.

Jongdae watched expectantly, not backing away from such close proximity.

 **"Jongdae..."** Using his voice for the first time in a long while, Jongin tried to swallow the hoarse tone away. **"You're... I... I'm –"**

Jongdae kept watching. Encouraging even. A small curl at the end of his lips. So kitten-like. So adorable. But Jongin didn't have the heart to say that out loud.

**"How old are you?"**

This time, Jongdae blinked and let out a melodic chuckle, leaning forward. Jongdae's chocolate strands of hair brushing against his cheeks. And Jongin felt like he was being lit on fire. This shouldn't be how it went.

_"My age? Well... 18? 28? Who cares, Jongin? Live a little."_

Jongin was technically 45 years old, so it was kind of important to know.

_"Wait, no way... You have a telescope!"_

And just like that Jongdae stepped away from his personal space. Jongin didn't even realize he was being suffocated until he was inhaling huge pumps of air to refill his lungs.

Jongdae sat down comfortably and looked through the telescope, but then jerked back, looking bemused.

Jongin couldn't hold back his smile this time when Jongdae turned back to him with a pleading look. Turning off all the neon lights, Jongin then made his way towards the smaller man. The dark light still blasting throughout the room.

Slowly, Jongin lowered himself, his hands reaching out and touching Jongdae's back. He couldn't see Jongdae's face, but he felt his skin shivered under his touch. His other hand reached forward to take away the cap covering the lens.

 **"Look again, Jongdae...ah."** it was going to be difficult. He had never referred to anyone like this before.

Even under the dark light, Jongdae still looked so beautiful. His lips parted in awe of the night sky he was observing through the lens. Jongin tried not to think of it, but hovering over Jongdae like this gave a strange sense of thrill he never experienced before. He had ever only known the dangerous kind, but this. This was different.

When Jongdae turned around, his back flushed against Jongin's chest, a brilliant smile on his face.

_"Jongin-ah, can I be with you forever?"_

🌸

Jongin didn't know what to say.

Jongdae just drew out a soft sigh and leaned back, fully resting on Jongin's chest. Jongdae's hair tracing his neck, and Jongin could feel a little. Lost in the darkroom. Soon, Jongin gave in, his hands reluctantly closing around Jongdae's waist. Jongin could barely feel anything anymore. But this? This he could feel. No matter little it was. Jongin could feel Jongdae in his arms.

_"Where should I sleep?"_

**"Um..."** There were a lot of couches, but... **"Next to me."**

 _"I'd like that."_ He could feel Jongdae smiling, whispering that.

Now that Jongdae was on his right, laying on his side, staring intently at him. With Jongdae this close and comfortable, Jongin suddenly realized how grueling this could be. He said it so easily, but actually doing it was more than he expected. 

It was too real. Jongdae was so bright. So intense. So genuine.

Quietly, Jongin turned away from Jongdae, back facing the smaller man, a heart heavier than the burdens on his shoulders.

_"Goodnight, Jongin-ah."_

🌸

Jongin usually spent his days drinking day in and day out. There wasn't really anything wrong with that. He had lost his purpose already. His best friend gone from this world, leaving him to his own device. Leaving him in this enormous world, where he could easily drown in the vast sea of people.

Too crowded in this world, yet he had never felt more scared. Alone. Dim and dark.

Venturing outside was no longer an option. Jongin liked to stay in. Or really, Jongin had no drive to go out, so barricading himself in his own cyberpunk room was better as his mind had convinced him, drunk in the sorrow of losing his own purpose.

Parts of him hated this.

Parts of him liked this.

It was common knowledge at this point that he was flawed.

Yet here he was, under this beautiful dawn, Jongdae fluttered his eyes opened and smiled at Jongin like he was the most prized possession Jongdae had ever found. Surely, Jongdae saw something flawed, broken, wrecked inside of him, but those lips stretched so enticingly that Jongin couldn't look away.

_"Good morning, Jongin-ah."_

🌸

In his bathroom, Jongin could see the scars on his face clearer. Jongdae couldn't have overlooked that, could he? His dark raven hair wasn't styled by a million-dollar hairdresser, his build too skinny for his height, his expressions too dry, his wrinkles obviously visible to Jongdae's younger eyes, his voice too high— nothing about him had substance. Jongin just didn't understand.

 _"Jongin-ah, I want to go out."_ His voice. Oh, it brought him back to a safer place, but every time Jongin felt a little too blissful, Jongin remembered the grim reality of his situation. Though Jongdae's smile reassured him, it still unnerved him at the same time.

 **"Where?"** Jongin's preference was staying still, but if Jongdae wanted to go out, Jongin would go with him.

 _"Somewhere fun? Like an amusement park! I mean... if they still have that..."_ Something in Jongdae's eyes faltered and seeing that bright light dim even just a little hurt Jongin, so quickly Jongin acted.

Soon, they were at the park in broad daylight with Jongdae running around having the time of his life though Jongin barely moved. Jongin followed step by step with Jongdae waiting for him to catch up every time he jumped or got too far. Maybe, he had never seen a roller-coaster or anything 'amusing' contraptions made for 'amusement' before.

All of those rusted quite a while ago. The steel of the amusement park all worn out, reddened, eaten up the burning rust with mother nature taking over the place. The greenery adorned the neglected and obsolete contraptions, the vines hugging and snaking up the what once was a beautiful and fun place for humans to enjoy, now left dying in the dust.

_"Oh~ This was back in..."_

**"2017."**

_"That's like 50 years ago..."_ This shouldn't be beautiful, but Jongdae looked around him and skipped in his walk like he was a child playing in a real amusement park. _"Wait, is that what you used to call a carousel?"_

Jongin nodded, his eyes following Jongdae closely. All of this he had seen before. Only Jongdae was a mystery to him.

All the horses lost their colors burned down to just crusts and brownish broken steel, but Jongdae still stared at them in fascination.

_"Take pictures of me, Jongin-ah~ No, actually, let's take pictures together."_

When Jongdae ran back to him to slot his hand in his, Jongin knew that he would let Jongdae lead him wherever he wanted to go.

🌸

Nothing was a secret to him, then, but of course, knowing too much had a cost. So Jongin stopped trying to pursue what was more of the world.

Perhaps, he should've hated his best friend, but he'd loved the man too much to hate him in the first place.

Jongin didn't know whether to resent the knowledge or be grateful as it only brought him agony so far.

A bright laugh pierced through his ears and Jongin was brought back to the amusement park again, remembering Jongdae's innocent self enjoying the beauty of the damage around him. At this point, Jongin thought maybe knowing too much may have its little quirks. Maybe, not all agony. Maybe, a little bit of bliss. But that was a stretch.

Korea, Jongin knew like the back of his hand. If it brought Jongdae that much happiness, Jongin would take Jongdae to wherever he wanted.

_"Jong— Jongin..?"_

Something was shaking in Jongdae. The fear in his eyes was evident. Quickly, Jongin followed him suit and traced Jongdae's terrified gaze to a seemingly cold dead body.

Instinctively, Jongin's hand pushed Jongdae back to keep the smaller man behind him.

 _"What— what happened? Is she okay?"_ Jongdae's voice was so small, wavering under the slightest movement.

The lady looked strangely peaceful in her eternal sleep in her red dressing gown in the midst of the thick grass and colorful flowers surrounding her.

Jongin now approaching the body with no hesitation, kneeling down for further examination, his hands fishing for his phone.

"Busan Police Department—"

**"It's Jongin. I'd like to report a dead body."**

"We'll send in the inspection team right away, sir."

There wasn't any struggle from what Jongin could see. All of her clothes seemed untouched, but that judgment was for the inspection team to make. Her face looked to be around mid-forty. She was, in the human standard, beautiful. And she still was as the passing of this woman may have been recent.

_"She's dead?"_

Now, Jongin realized that he only wanted to hear Jongdae when he was happy. The scared tone in his voice Jongin didn't want to remember.

Jongin's thoughts were no longer on the lady in red, turning his attention fully on the smaller man who started to tremble.

**"Jongdae-ah."**

Suchsoft and delicate hands Jongdae had. Jongin held them close and dragged the smaller man away from what he was seeing.

**"Hey, look at me."**

For the third time, Jongdae stared straight into his eyes in such a short distance. The way he actually had to crane his neck up ticked something off in Jongin. However, Jongdae's gaze was different from the previous sweet and loving ones Jongin had received.

_"Did you check if she's breathing? I mean maybe she's taking a nap—"_

Jongin truly didn't know what to say to make him feel better, so Jongin wordlessly brought Jongdae closer for a cold embrace. With his head pressed against his chest, Jongdae started shaking even harder. Soon, Jongin could feel his shirt slowly dampened by Jongdae's tears.

This was how Jongin's life was.

It could be peaceful, but those peaceful things could only exist for so long before being disturbed by the harsh reality of the world.

**"I... am sorry, Jongdae-ah."**

It took Jongin's breath away when Jongdae's arms suddenly wrapped around him, arms snaking up his back, hands clutching at his shoulders, fingers lightly tracing the nape of his neck.

_"I don't want it..."_

The tighter Jongdae held him, the higher Jongin got.

_"I don't want to be without you."_

**"Jongdae?"**

_"I don't want to die. I want to be with you."_

🌸

"Suicides... Humans are complicated."

His old friend dryly informed him. Taemin still looked as dashing as ever in his youthful looks and his clean professional uniform.

 **"Aren't we all?"** Jongin wanted to check on Taemin, but looking at how the man just smirked with no less than one emotion, Jongin stayed quiet.

"Who's that?"

Jongdae was on the far end, sitting alone, hands fisting his own pants, eyes darting to all of the places before his worried gaze crossed Jongin's.

Jongin only turned back to Taemin with silence.

"Right. Anyway, I'll update you with her history if you want to know."

A deep breath. Jongin just shook his head. All he needed to know was how she did it, the rest Jongin understood without words.

"Well, I'm off. Hopefully, we'll meet each other in a much more ... optimistic note."

Taemin gave him a firm tap on the back.

"Detective Kim."

**"Detective Lee."**

Jongin's eyes trailed back to the peaceful lady in red being carried off to the van. Something that Jongin would relate.

Parts of him wanted to be like her, but parts of him wanted to be with Jongdae. 

🌸

Jongdae walked silently next to him.

**"I'm sorry you had to see that—"**

_"It's fine, Jongin-ah."_

The sun was getting lower. Now, the orange glow of the evening embedded onto Jongdae's skin, setting him aflame along with Jongin's heart. There must be a counter to this. There must be somewhere in there that wasn't part of Jongdae to love him. Glaringly obvious, it was for Jongin to not to ignore.

**"Do you... really love me?"**

_"No doubt about it, Jongin-ah."_

Jongin couldn't find any fault in Jongdae.

The creases in his brows and that unmistakable honesty pouring from the smaller man.

It made Jongin keen.

It made Jongin wanted to give in completely, but parts of him still hung on. Hung on to the fact that Jongdae didn't truly love him.

🌸

This time Jongdae wanted to go to a bar, and Jongin was more than willing to take him there. The more alcohol he could get his hands on, the better. It had been too sobering with Jongdae around, Jongin needed something to get drunk again.

So instead of sleeping tonight, the two of them found themselves drowned in the loud disco music with people dancing against one another just to feel something.

Jongdae didn't seem to be fazed by obscenity before him. The man just turned back and tucked on Jongin's hands even more insistently.

 _"I want to dance with you."_ Every time. Every time Jongdae wanted something from him, Jongin just ... went breathless. _"Wait, we're supposed to drink first, aren't we? What do you suggest we get drunk on?"_

**"Us."**

Unconsciously, Jongin blurted out, unable to differentiate the intoxicatingly breathtaking colors lighting up on Jongdae's skin.

_"What? Bourbon?"_

But at this point, Jongin was already drunk. He should have known. This was the problem. Jongin was too easily swayed and he hated Jongdae for making it worse. The constant cheeky grin that Jongdae always had on his face. The precious collarbone peeking from his white shirt. The neckline that dipped lower down his chest, letting Jongin see more than what he could handle.

It even fired him up just seeing Jongdae smiling and asking for a drink from the bartender.

His fingers wrapped loosely around the glass, his eyes trained on Jongdae's neck as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down, gulping down the fiery drink. Seeing Jongdae's dewy complexion slowly flaring up, reddening his pale skin, had Jongin's body limp.

Even the soft little hiccups that left his thin kitten lips was enough to clench at Jongin's heart.

Parts of him knew this was too good to be true, but parts of him had completely surrendered to Jongdae.

Soon enough, Jongin was on his third glass, still drunk on Jongdae's gaze when the smaller man stumbled forward, flimsy fingers fisting at Jongin's shirt that sent some erratic signals up Jongin's brain.

_"Please dance with me."_

🌸

Jongin wouldn't really call that dancing.

Just jumping around, shaking his head around, throwing his hands up all over the place, everything completely off the rhythm... that was attempting to dance as Jongin would lightly put it.

_"I love it when you smile."_

Jongin didn't even register until Jongdae's fingers were closing in on him, tracing his lips like they were his. Jongin wanted to beg a differ, but that little taste of his skin set his mind in overdrive.

It must have shocked Jongdae, a surprised gasp, lips in between in his teeth when Jongin held the hand that breached his personal space.

 **"You're treading on thin ice, Jongdae."** It was almost a growl, a deeper baritone Jongin muster underneath this loud synth melody.

_"That was my intention, Jongin."_

Slowly, pieces came together, and Jongin found himself gliding softly against Jongdae with ease. There wasn't anything rough. Jongin didn't have the heart to disturb the being that was Kim Jongdae. Soon, Jongdae no longer thrashing around like an amateur teen and let his body sway with Jongin whose hand pressed lightly against Jongdae's petite waist. Naturally, Jongdae's arms draped over his broader shoulders, his head inching ever closer until their forehead touched.

_"How could I turn away from something this beautiful?"_

In the midst of this chaotic illuminations, here they were, slow dancing to the rhythm of their hearts.

**"Nonsense. I'm far from beautiful."**

When Jongdae just chuckled and shook his head, their noses brushed one another, further taking away the last piece of sanity that Jongin had.

_"Take me home and I'll show you how beautiful you are."_

🌸

It was more than certain that Jongdae had him wrapped around his fingertips.

Still lost in the alcohol swimming in their system, they laid on their sides on Jongin's bed, face to face.

Under ultraviolet light burning onto his pupils, Jongin was convinced that Jongdae looked prettiest this way. The milk of his skin brightened by his bedroom light. Perhaps, if Jongin did everything right, Jongdae could stay in his room forever. But was that something he wanted? What he truly wanted? For eternity?

He'd had known Jongdae for one day and two nights, yet it felt as if Jongdae had known him forever.

The way his shy fingertips traced all his crooks and imperfection. The wrinkles on his skin he never got to straighten after all these stressful years. His hollow cheeks riddled with small lumpy bumps and scars from endless fights he had been involved in. His lips slightly lopsided, Jongin never forgot the way Taemin cut him, nor did the evidence went away. His brows no longer full, Jongin didn't remember this one, how something sliced the meat just on his brow bone; it'd been too long, perhaps.

He lost track of time with the pathways Jongdae left on his imperfect face.

**"It's telling how broken I am."**

Usually, he would drown his whole apartment in ambient slow synth music and depressing low post-rock music, but with Jongdae, Jongin could hear another melody that was Jongdae's voice and be taken anywhere.

_"It's not about how broken you are..."_

Jongin had never once considered his tasteless dark strands of hair as anything more than a wig to keep his head covered with something, but the feeling of Jongdae's fingertips comb through them made him feel so much younger. Such youthful spell enticing his mind, hypnotizing his senses. Jongdae was grooming him like he was the most precious thing in this world, and Jongin almost believed him.

**"What else could I be but broken?"**

_"It's about how beautiful you are regardless of your flaws."_

**"Jongdae..."**

_"Please believe me."_ Jongdae coming closer, his lips tracing his hair before planting them firmly on his forehead, an angel's kiss setting his soul ablaze. Jongin had never been kissed before, and to be touched by another this intimate, he couldn't measure how much of him was about to overflow. So much so that Jongin's trembling hand came to hold Jongdae by the nape of his neck, his thumb against the juncture of his jaw pushing him away.

 **"Don't do this. I can't..."** all he could muster was a hoarse reply, tears already brimming in his eyes.

_"I could never lie to you, Jongin."_

When Jongdae silently begged him with his hand coming to hold the back of Jongin's much bigger and rougher hand, unknowingly Jongin let Jongdae guide his hand towards his face. His beautiful beautiful face.

Something so beautiful shouldn't be tainted by something so sickening. Jongin's heart and soul had been wrung dry by seeing so many beautiful things being corrupted so many times in his life, he wasn't ready to blemish Jongdae's being with his flawed self.

However, the moment Jongin tried to draw back, Jongdae's hand clutched his, not wavering in his hold. _  
_

_"Touch me."_

🌸

Jongin must admit, in his dull and gloomy years, with all of the things he knew, he never really spent enough time stipulating what love actually meant. In his years existing with his best friend, Jongin knew something about the feeling, but throwing it around without setting any type of standards had now become a problem. 

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧-𝐚𝐡. 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐥𝐥.

It was only a memory, but Jongin still mentally rolled his eyes at his best friends' words years later. 

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

Jongdae was strange. Very very strange. Then again, Jongin had never spent a lot of time on physical contact; never mind about touching someone's face. The man tried not to return any type of touch to those who had tried to approach him, at least not too much. They must be in disgust with his presence. Although Jongin could see that some did enjoy his company, he tried not to get too attached. Others wouldn't want to be close to him, they just didn't know it.

A horrid realization when Jongin's fingertips laid upon the curious face of Jongdae, who waited so patiently for him to decide. Unlike the other areas of his body, Jongin's hands had been through quite a distressing treatment throughout his years of fighting. He was reminded every day when he felt tingles down the palm of his hands and watched as his hands collided with another human's body.

For Jongdae, Jongin tried. Tried to feel with his hands even when he could only feel so little.

No.

Jongin could never fully appreciate the true beauty of what was happening with his hands failing his senses like this.

So invested in tracing the elegant lines on Jongdae's face that Jongin failed to take in Jongdae's expressions as a whole before his raspy honey voice took away his thoughts once more.

_"Is it because you don't love me?"_

Jongdae's eyes were always tender on him, never changing. Such soft chocolate gaze sweetening up his air.

**"It's.. I..."**

_"Shh..."_ It was that same smile, so inviting, so enchanting, drawing him so close, but Jongin knew well to stop himself. _"It's fine. I understand."_

The truth was Jongin was trying. Maybe, it was still the start, but seeing Jongdae all alone and grim wasn't a part of his plan. It would take him longer to understand what it all meant, what his best friend meant.

_"Whatever you do... Just don't leave me."_

Perhaps, Jongdae could sense his rapid heartbeats as their foreheads bumped once more, their noses touching. Something was turning in Jongin and not now Jongin wanted to know what it was. Too much. Jongdae was too much.

Jongin wouldn't leave Jongdae. No. But Jongin didn't have to say that. Though the back of his head claimed his cowardice, Jongin untangled himself from Jongdae, turning away from him, laying on his side.

_"Let me stay with you."_

But Jongin already closed his eyes, determined to fall asleep. He would give Jongdae answers later.

Even when he could feel Jongdae pressed against his back, coming to snuggle close, the good part of Jongin skin felt the foreign lips tender on his spine, Jongin kept silent.

_"Stay with me."_

🌸

Jongin had made sure to wake before Jongdae did this time.

The feeling of limps intertwined with his body Jongin felt. The good parts of his body could feel how warm Jongdae was, the way his thighs pressed shyly against his knees, toes poking his ever so slightly. It took Jongin awhile to register the skinny arms wrapped around his scarred waist.

Soon, Jongin sat at the end of his bed, the ultraviolet of his room blended with the warm creamy sun intruding his gloomy cold colours. Jongdae on his side in his bed bathing under the sun. He's beautiful.

_"Jongin?"_

Immediately, the smaller man tried to grab on to the sheets, his eyes still close, expecting Jongin to still be in his arms, perhaps.

His eyes clearly alarmed when Jongdae forcefully opened them, his limps fighting his senses to move, his head moving around before finding Jongin at the end of the bed.

Jongin stayed rigid as he waited for Jongdae to maneuver himself. Head resting on Jongin's laps now, arms loosely wrapped around his waist, weakly peeking at the old detective with a smile.

_"Good morning, Jongin."_

The younger had certainly grown bolder. Not that he'd been shy about anything just yet.

Then, Jongdae turned to lay on his back, fingers started unbuttoning his own white shirt, ever so nonchalantly, each button revealing more than Jongin had expected.

_"Jongin, I need to change..."_

Right. It'd been two days.

Two days of strange happenings.

Jongin tried not to look at his petite torso and lifted Jongdae off his laps by the shoulders, placing him back on the bed so carefully that even Jongdae was watching him, all flustered. Maybe it was just the sun burning on Jongdae's skin. Jongin wouldn't know.

Jongin was off to his closet. At the end of his eyes, he could tell it was Jongdae's silhouette being drawn by the sun rays, letting the white shirt fall off his shoulders, his smooth skin slightly reflecting the light etching into his heart.

In front of his closet, Jongin stared silently.

**"Jongdae?"**

The next second he heard footsteps, and Jongdae didn't really want to look back. Jongin knew what he would see.

**"It's better if you choose."**

Glimpses of his porcelain arm reaching for a shirt, and Jongin turned away, keeping himself busy on one of the couches.

The little teddy bear close to his lap he smiled at, remembering his old days with one of his old friends, wondering how he was doing.

_"Jongin, I want to go out."_

**Of course, you do.** Jongin quietly muttered to himself before finding the smaller man in his clothes, too loose around the edges.

A tilt of his head. Jongdae was certainly curious as to why Jongin was sighing and shook his head when he saw him.

_"What? Do I look bad?"_

Jongin wanted to scoff, but he was too tired, going towards Jongdae, judging how the sleeves were hanging off his fingertips. Jongdae almost fit. Almost.

Gingerly and thoughtfully, Jongin was careful not to connect with Jongdae's skin too much as he unbuttoned the cuffs of the black shirt that Jongdae had picked and slowly rolled the sleeves up to the elbows. Luckily, his black pair of pants didn't look too baggy on him.

It was clear when Jongdae dropped his sweet little persona and looked down.

_"I look horrible, don't I?"_

**"Oh** **..."** Jongin almost cooed at Jongdae pouting, eyes twinkling with wetness. The first time Jongdae broke character, not counting that shocking encounter with the red lady.

Jongdae soon was reminded of his own callings, quickly replacing his parted disappointed lips with a bright curve. _"Sorry, I wasn't supposed to –"_

**"The opposite."**

_"Huh?"_

**"Nothing."**

🌸

His phone vibrated.

Even when he was retired he was still receiving updates from the police department. He didn't know if this was a part of his best friend's grant wishes. Perhaps, he would ask Taemin what was happening with his profile back in the station.

The citizens were warned of the protest happening near the city. Humans were unpredictable, seemingly unable to be satisfied no matter what was offered to them. New problems would be created from what was already fixed, never seeing what was in front of them, only seeing what wasn't.

Jongin didn't want to risk it.

**"Actually, is it alright if we stay in today?"**

Jongdae didn't falter one second when he gleefully nodded.

In his head, Jongin was concerned. Jongdae should be thinking of himself too even if he was to look after a wrecked detective like him.

It was clear the way that Jongdae wandered around in the room, looking to see if there were anything entertaining. He knew it was fun, but Jongin still knew what Jongdae was planning to do. It was a part of him.

 _"All of these are so cute..."_ Jongdae stated as he observed the many stuffed animals laid in the bookshelf, on the couches, and of course, lastly next to the bed. _"Do you collect them?"_

A Hello Kitty Jongdae picked up. That specific old model stopped being manufactured 20 years ago. A fond memory.

**"Not really."**

From the living room couch, Jongin watched Jongdae ogled at the plushies as he laid on the bed in his clothes, looking so timeless. Jongdae knew exactly how to fit into this dark and cold picture that was his life. The barren place that was his room. The hopeless place that was his mind.

Jongin wondered what Jongdae's life before meeting him was like but... for once, Jongin feared the knowing. 

🌸

It was his oldest coat. Slightly tethered, dark grey, a few rips here and there, too big for someone like Jongdae, but...

**"Wow."**

Jongin could feel his eyes burned, the tears threatening to spill at such a beautiful sight. This was why he was deemed as flawed perhaps. Jongin felt too much.

But how could Jongin not?

When Jongdae was this enchanting. Even in this junk of a coat that Jongin had, Jongdae still pulled it off. Nothing. Nothing could fail Jongdae's beauty.

_"I can do homemade kimbap. Hey, is there something you want to eat?"_

Jongin was back in the supermarket with the helpers watching the two of them looking for the ingredients funnily.

Then again, they were the only customers in the place. At least present there. It had been a while since people came out to buy something physically. Once in a blue moon, the employees would be able to look at their customers in the flesh, coming to pick up and pay for things, not just some faceless customers on the Internet.

A soft touch on the tip of his nose and Jongin followed Jongdae's fingertips dropping back to clench in his coat pockets.

 _"Jongin, come back to me..."_ it was the way Jongdae looked at him. _"Anything you want to eat?"_

 **"I don't really pick food."** Plainly stated.

Jongdae just frowned at him, drawing a confused expression out of him.

 _"Oh... Jongin..."_ Then a shocked giggle. Something in Jongdae's mind. _"It's baffling that you're the most interesting man I know, yet at the same time turns out to be the most boring man..."_

Jongdae's little waves in his hair wafted around as he shifted around to find the right ingredients. The blood tomato in his hands, that little kitten smile when he found the right kind of rice –

Jongin looked away. Heart beating against his ears, his hand clutching at his chest.

It was a difficult thing. Love. He knew that there were various kinds of love.

His best friend had tried to encourage him once.

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧-𝐚𝐡.

The people that he had met throughout his life Jongin had loved at some point. In many forms, some he loved more, some he loved less, but Jongin knew when to stop at least. A man like him that didn't even fully understand the true concept of love should not deserve love, more or less, to love.

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝.

"Omo! Detective?"

It was a familiar voice. A little tender, sweet in air, hitting his ears in the right places, the pure happiness in his tone. Then Jongin felt arms wrapping around his limps. Lanky pretty hands pressed over his stomach and Jongin sensed a smaller body crashed into him from behind.

"Jongin!"

The man was slow to react. His hand reluctantly placed on the prettier ones intertwined over his waist.

**"Baek."**

"You remembered me..." He could hear the smile against his back as the younger snuggled in closer.

**"I could never forget you."**

For the first time in 20 years, Jongin met him once again.

"Byun Baekhyun." That innocent rectangular smile was still there even so many years later.

_"I'm... Kim Jongdae..."_

It was peculiar that Kim Jongdae seemed almost intimidated by Baekhyun. Hesitation in reaching out to shake Baekhyun's hand, but Baekhyun was faster, pulling in Jongdae for an embrace as if they had been together forever.

"You're really pretty."

Jongdae keened and tried to keep his smile away, unable to look at Baekhyun's piercing chocolate eyes directly.

"Right, Jongin-ah?"

 **"Right... of course."** That was expected of Baekhyun.

With the harsh lights of the food stands around them, Jongin could see Jongdae's blush bloomed so clearly under Baekhyun's curious and bright eyes. **Not because of me** , Jongin thought. Or perhaps it was something he was trying to convince himself of.

_"You're pretty, too."_

"Oh? Me or him?" So mischievous as always.

 _"Both."_ It was the fact that he answered that without a skip of a heartbeat. He was sure.

Oh. Love. This time, Jongin might actually find it hard to stop.

"Wah..." Baekhyun leaned in, fingers tracing Jongdae's face, leaving an even much deeper blush over the man's facial feature. "You're a different kind of thing altogether... so pretty."

They got along quite fast, soon jumping around buying groceries together like children playing in the playground. Baekhyun would, from time to time, whispered sweet little things against Jongdae's ears and Jongin could fall for the sight of that, Jongdae all tensed up, flustered and flushed all over.

Jongin remembered. Remembered Baekhyun well. Back when he was just a teenager, starting out life in the new era. The younger had certainly grown into his features. It was that innocent little crush Baekhyun had for Jongin that had Jongin warmed all over. Jongin could still see it in his eyes, but something was different when Baekhyun looked at Jongdae, so full of love, perhaps more for him than Jongin and Jongin could understand why.

"Jongin will look after you well... I'm so happy." Baekhyun crashed into the two of them, gathering everyone for a tight hold.

Of course, besides that one time with an unexpected guest disturbing their peace, Jongin hadn't really hugged Jongdae again. Or at least not this close in the way that Baekhyun was doing.

Jongdae was cleaning up the fridge of the beers and wines, replacing them with fresh food.

**"On the bridge that we met..."**

It was sudden, but he knew Jongdae wanted to know. The smaller man turned away from all of the groceries, eyes smile at Jongin whose eyes burned less bright.

**"I found Baekyun, ready to jump."**

Jongdae's eyes dropped their shine, his hands clasped over his lips.

 **"It took a while... I let him stay here."** Jongin looked over at the top shelf of his stuffed animals, recollecting the days that Baekhyun spent playing with them. **"I even let him tag along on my missions."**

Times and times again, Baekhyun would snuggle the cute little softie dog plushie on his lap while Jongin was on the driver seat smiling at the younger.

 _"How was that not appropriate?"_ Jongin could tell Jongdae tried to focus on the brighter side, his gaze dropped to the food they bought together with the seemingly happy Baekhyun.

**"I was just a low ranking police officer then."**

And silence took over. 

Jongin didn't know what else to say but stared at the turquoise stuffed unicorn Baekhyun left him as a parting gift.

_"He looks happy now."_

A small smile Jongin managed as he thought of the days he spent petting Baekhyun's hair until he was satisfied. 

**"He does."**

🌸

It was his light blue shirt this time. His smaller body could barely hold up the shirt in full-frame, his fingertips peeking from the sleeves.

_"Goodnight, Jongin."_

His eyes watched the window, the stars flickering, the ultraviolet burning in the room. All of his senses were fired up feeling Jongdae so close like this. He waited, his tired eyes opened, blinking away at his muddled thoughts.

An hour passed like a blur, and Jongin turned back, facing Jongdae's sleeping features.

Jongin wanted to try. Maybe, his best friend was up to something good. His numb digits tracing Jongdae's eyebrows, drawing the smaller man out of his dreaming land.

_"Jongin?"_

**"Come close."**

The brows raised under his touch, and Jongdae followed his wishes well, head coming up against his chest, pressed ever so softly, hair nuzzled gently against Jongin's neck, his fragile arms held on his waist, a smile right above his heart.

Jongin returned the touch sluggishly, lightly tapping at Jongdae's back, feeling a little light about himself.

 _"This is nice."_ A tiny whisper. _"Can we do this every night?"_

A sigh relief, his nose nimbly nestled against Jongdae's silk strands of chocolate hair.

 **If you wanted, I'd do it forever,** but Jongin stayed quiet, taking tiny little steps with Jongdae, shutting his consciousness down, with Jongdae safe in his arms.

🌸

_"Jongin-ah~"_

He took a deep breath in, eyes fluttered open to see Jongdae's face so close to his as his head rested on his scarred chest.

 _"Come on, I made kimbap and kimchi soup for you. Smells nice, right?"_ a poke at his nose and Jongin finally picked up on the scent overflowing of the traditional Korean food in his apartment. _"Up, Detective."_

He should be telling people that he was retired, but Jongin didn't have the heart to correct them, especially not Jongdae.

Smaller hands gripped at his meaty shoulders, trying all that he could to pull Jongin up. It was too much work at this point, and Jongin sat up on his own, suddenly taking Jongdae by surprise as the younger almost fell back from his own force, but Jongin caught him and yanked him back enough to crash into Jongin's body. Jongdae clinging on to him so early in the morning, it was making his head spin.

The fingertips, the press of his palm, the traces of his nails ghosting over his back.

It was Jongdae that drew back first and out of instinct, Jongin's grip over his waist was uncalled for. Jongdae's eyes blinking, cheeks all flushed.

Soon, he was dragged to the kitchen, seated comfortably at his table, watching Jongdae getting the dishes ready for him.

Gradually, everything seemed to bleed into each other, the smell of fresh kimbap in the morning, the warmth and stream coming from the soup, the way Jongdae watched him intently waiting for a reaction.

Quietly Jongdae was stacking up the dishes he'd done washing.

Shivers ran down his spine as Jongin came close from behind, letting his fingers tracing the nape of Jongdae's neck.

_"J- Jongin?"_

A grip on the sharp jawlines and Jongin pulled Jongdae close, his dry lips brushing Jongdae's. He couldn't help himself any longer, pushing just a little deeper than he'd intended. Moving against the smaller man who could do nothing but take the surprise and hold on to him like he was hanging by a thread that was Jongin. His lips still hovering Jongdae's when he leaned back just enough to stare at Jongdae's glistening chocolate eyes brimming with so many questions and tears threatening to fall.

 _"Jongin..."_ Jongdae's nails dug into his skin helplessly when Jongin pulled back too far.

" **Where do you want to go today?"**

_"Anywhere with you."_

🌸

The dirt felt strangely nice beneath him. Soju burning at his signals with Jongdae close to him leaning against his left side. From time to time, Jongdae would pick at the fried crispy chicken and feed him before eating himself.

The night lit up their rendezvous by the river.

His hand resting ever so sluggishly on Jongdae's waist. Fingers poking, pricking, unknowingly going under and tracing the skin beneath the shirt.

Tighter and tighter was his grip, closer and closer was Jongdae.

**"Jongdae?"**

_"Hmm?"_ his lips pressed against his neck, mumbling comfortably against Jongin's skin.

The stars blinking away hypnotizing him as the alcohol brought him closer and closer to losing control.

This time, he let the soju lead him, his lips wet against Jongdae's. He held Jongdae to the side, deepening the burning need. Before long, his curious tongue traced the smaller man's lips, sending warning signals down their spine. Pulling back, Jongdae smiled and leaned down to lick the nape of his neck before going back to eating more pieces of chicken.

That night, Jongin didn't think twice about holding Jongdae's in his sleep.

To have that smile close to his chest, embedding his heart was more than enough to keep him breathing.

🌸

He watched Jongdae slowly wake up to smile at him.

Who would have thought a morning kiss could set him ablaze?

Perhaps, it was easier to burn with Jongdae around, but Jongin wasn't complaining. He was willing to play with fire at this point, already throwing himself into the pit, letting himself get scorched by Jongdae's touches and soft whispers, writing a story on his scarred flesh.

" **Where do you want to go today?"**

The trees overcasting their shadows hiding away the troubles, the flowers swaying to the dancing wind.

Jongin falling and falling deeper into Jongdae's eyes.

**"I first started as a traffic officer."**

Jongin had always taken small steps in his life. Slow and methodical.

But with Jongdae... somehow it got harder to keep the same working pace. Jongin felt like jumping, skipping, doing everything with Jongdae. How irrational he'd gotten.

Without caring about their stroll in the garden, the wind grew stronger and stronger, the clouds gathered and the sky darken and soon, droplets of water, and soon, grains of water fell down harder and harder, but Jongdae said he could handle the harsh rain.

_"I love it!"_

Running around he went in the rain. Jongdae giggled as he shivered under the cold deluge. Their clothes soon soaked and bogged down their motions. With his heart now in his throat, Jongin's blood burned at how pretty Jongdae was even in the heavy rain.

In their comfy quiet place, the purple light setting fire in Jongin's apartment illuminate Jongdae's skin wet with droplets of water. They were soaking from the rain and perhaps they should be shivering, teeth clattering from the cold, but Jongin's eyes just kept wandering Jongdae's body, his shirt sticking to his skin, a veil casting over the milky skin. It was burning in his eyes.

Jongin wasn't sure if he looked as delectable as Jongdae all wet this way, but the way Jongdae looked at him might have convinced him so.

It was Jongdae who took off his shirt first. And suddenly, Jongin felt conscious. Jongdae was all chiseled, shining, smooth, and perfect.

He turned away, but arms wrapped around him. Jongdae's wet hair against his neck.

_"Jongin..."_

Slowly, Jongdae's fingers came to unbutton his shirt. And soon, Jongdae tore the wet piece of clothing away from his skin. His hands loose from the sleeves and Jongin could hear Jongdae took a step back to take off the shirt completely.

_"Jongin... what... what happened?"_

Now, he could feel Jongdae tracing the scars on his back. He didn't know where to start. Really. At one point in his life, he realized something about his existence and Jongin stopped caring about his appearance. It didn't really matter whether he should get his wounds and injuries checked out. He was going to die either way, he thought back then.

And when Jongdae came before him and saw what was in front, Jongdae just whimpered at the damage.

**"I..."**

Jongin wanted to say something, but nothing came to mind.

Regardless Jongdae came closer and held him like it was the end of everything. Parts of Jongin burned at how their skin pressed onto each other, his heart burned at the nakedness and rawness of such embrace. Parts of Jongin wanted Jongdae to back away, not wanting to scar Jongdae's skin with his impurities.

It was the kisses that Jongdae gave on his collarbones, on his neck, back down his chest, right where his heart would be.

_"I swear on my life I'll never stop loving you."_

🌸

Jongin's space was now Jongdae's space. Jongin had a difficult time trying to peel him off, plus the old detective didn't really mind the warmth Jongdae gave to his cold body.

His back pressed against his chest, Jongdae leaned back against Jongin who was sitting on the couch trying to enjoy the kimbap Jongdae made for him.

Jongin's lips tender on the smaller man's nape of his neck and he could feel the shiver on his skin. It was these little things that Jongdae loved. Jongin wasn't really sure. Still.

Something in Jongdae's eyes still set a guilty heart in him screaming for what to do. What to do. It was easy for Jongdae to love him. Of course, it was. And Jongin although didn't fully get rid of his doubts, the old detective was certain that it was him that Jongdae found hard to trust.

He could always feel Jongdae's eyes on him. Ever so lost yet so sure all at once. Jongdae was gambling with him, but it was Jongin who had to deal with the greater risk of losing.

 _"You're always someplace else, detective."_ There it was again. There was no heat in his voice, but Jongin felt guilty still. _"Don't go too far off, alight? I'm gonna go change for a moment."_

It was part of Jongdae. He knew exactly what to do. A gentle touch on his temple. A soft gaze. Lips parted and lightly pecked the scarred cheek of his. A final squeeze on his shoulder like he never wanted to let go even though he was just getting a change of clothes.

And Jongin wanted to ask for guidance. Well, Jongdae had been sort of leading him all this time, but it wasn't enough.

_"Jongin, what would you recommend?"_

A distant call. This far, yet Jongin could still hear the mischievous tone in his delicate voice.

**"I don't think I'm the right man to answer that."**

_"Awe, don't sell yourself short. Now, what do you—"_

A breath. Jongdae was about to make some sort of complaint about what he saw in the detective's closet. Why bother? Fashion wasn't really apart of his job. It was seeing corpses day in and day out. Jongin didn't have the mental capacity to handle that particular part of himself. Or his whole self really.

A few more seconds passed, and Jongdae didn't really continue his train of thought.

**"Jongdae?"**

There Jongdae was. Lying on his side, stiff and cold.

**"Jongdae?"**

Slowly, Jongin approached his lover in dread and kneeled down, hands shaking as he pulled the unmoving figure onto his lap. 

Eyes closed so peacefully. Limps not moving.

**"Jongdae?"**

Jongdae didn't wake up that day.

🌸

"Detective. I'm almost there."

The man's voice was reassuring on the other line, but staring at Jongdae on his bed not moving, not waking up, not giving him any kisses, not telling his little things, Jongin was about to burst.

Phone thrown across the room. With each passing second, the wound in his heart grew bigger and wretch itself into the thorns that Jongdae had successfully planted in him along with the bed of roses.

The old detective didn't know what to do. His hands shaking, his eyes burned with tears brimming at the corners of his eyes.

His worst nightmare.

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞.

His old friend's words now littered with venom struck in his heart as he held on Jongdae's cold hands. Even in this state, Jongdae was beautiful. And it was more than Jongin could handle, unable to hear his voice.

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞.

Jongin never forgot the way he laughed at his old friend being ridiculous with such a message, thinking that it would never be the case, yet here he was. Feeling physical pain in his beating heart. The lips that once gave him life was not moving.

Soon, he fell into a deep slumber, holding on to Jongdae as tight as he could, praying that Jongdae would be the one to wake him up with a morning kiss.

🌸

The old doctor inspected Jongdae with such scrutiny that even Jongin felt uncomfortable. It was nice of him to Jongdae with delicate care. Perhaps, the old doctor knew him too well.

"Fascinating." Minseok blurted out. A strange emotional reaction that caught Jongin off guard. He looked at the side of Jongdae's head underneath all that luscious hair.

Jongin stayed silent, his fear grew ever stronger with each passing moment.

"Oh, excuse my reactions, detective. It's just..." Minseok pulled back with awe. "I remember my uncle staying up late building him."

The detective looked away, suddenly seeing his old friend on his workbench working on Jongdae.

"The first android... have you any idea?" Slowly Minseok picked apart Jongdae. The word didn't really faze Jongin. Or rather, Jongin didn't want to realize it. "There's never a name for him. Just coded as EX0C21."

Underneath the scalp of Jongdae's control center was the code embedded there like the scars he had. Mutters of amusement filled the room as Minseok looked into Jongdae's parts.

"You know... he's the only android that was pre-built with emotions or something akin to that."

Jongin had worked alongside Minseok for a long time and although they weren't as close as he and his old friend, they knew each other enough to deal with each other. Minseok always knew when to speak, when to fill in the silence.

"He was banned on release. My colleagues put him on sale without my uncle's knowledge. And Zhang pulled all of him back. Every one of his models except him, the first one, was either deconstructed or remodeled into another type." Jongin wasn't around when that happened. "The world wasn't ready for _self-aware android_ yet. Or at least he was marketed that way."

Because just years later, it was obvious that Zhang did something with his creations that sooner or later, the android grew to be self-aware regardless of the pre-built sympathy function.

"I was so young when I first saw him move." There was something familiar in the way that Minseok stroke Jongdae's hair that pulled a frown out of Jongin. "Sorry, it's just... it's been so long since I've seen him."

Of course, Jongdae was the first one. The starting point.

After checking all of his vitals, Minseok put Jongdae back together and turned to Jongin with an unsure look.

"His battery is old and outdated. Well, he's the first of his kind after all. Has he always been on? Or just recently?"

Jongin's heart almost shattered when he thought back to the first time he saw Jongdae. Such overwhelming emotions he felt. Jongin never understood why an android could pull such a reaction out of him, but Jongin tried to accept the way that his life was, welcoming Jongdae into his reluctant arms.

**"Two weeks ago, he was powered on."**

"Ah... It's only a faulty heating system perhaps. Using something too much will break it. Using it too little will also hurt—" Minseok stopped himself and straightened up, an apologetic look. "I need him back in the lab. His battery pack isn't compatible with today's androids'. I'll have to build a custom package for him and upgrade his programming to fit today's standards."

And so, Jongin held on to Jongdae at the back of Minseok's car, his silent cry echoed at the back of his mind as they drove into the neon lights. 

"Jong-" Minseok cut himself off. Jongin could see his hand gripped hard at the steering wheel. Even after all of this time, all of these upgrades and advancement, Minseok still had a preference to drive himself rather than letting his car drive him. "Jongin, I promise I'll fix him."

But Minseok never met his eyes through the rearview mirror or looked back at him. The old doctor just stared straight ahead, eyes burning at the road. 

"I can fix every android, so don't worry about him. Rest easy, detective."

Jongin knew that Minseok was capable. More than so. It was the idea that Jongdae would never wake up that scared him. 

And his old friend was right. 

If Jongin lost Jongdae now, Jongin would surely be done with this world.

🌸

After all those nights staying up without Jongdae's knowledge, Jongin had already come to terms with what was happening.

He couldn't just ignore Jongdae. As he watched the old doctor put together the pieces and molding everything together, Jongin was sure to look forward to seeing Jongdae open his eyes again. He didn't care anymore. This gamble he would gladly take. No matter how big the risk. There was no turning back.

The seconds stretched into minutes, minutes stretched into hours, days, weeks.

It was taking a toll on him, but something precious in Minseok told him that the old doctor was just as distressed although not on the same level as Jongin. Jongin could see the crack in Minseok each time Jongdae wouldn't power on. Both of them were wearing thin waiting on Jongdae to wake.

"Detective, you haven't slept for so long. Get some rest."

They sat comfortably in Minseok's kitchen, drinking their preferred beverage.

**"I'll be alright. It's you who should be resting."**

"Oh, it's fine. I've dedicated my whole life to saving androids. If I can't save one, it keeps me up at night, so might as well work to get em working again, right?"

**"Doctor, please. You're getting old."**

"Ouch." A small chuckle from Minseok. The old doctor watched Jongin so closely. There was something in Minseok's eyes that told Jongin something deeper. A sigh and Minseok knew not to refuse Jongin's offers. Because it was rare for Jongin to make any offers really.

**"Goodnight, doctor."**

"Well, then. Goodnight, detective."

 **"I'll be fine."** That phrase somehow almost broke Minseok but the old doctor recovered with a smile.

"Wake me if anything happens."

A firm nod.

And Jongin was left alone with Jongdae in the lab, his eyes never left the stats, his heart never stopped beating for Jongdae. 

🌸

It was each of Jongdae's strands of hair that set him off in a trance. How soft he was in his arms. How tender he was with the rough old detective like Jongin.

A breath in. Something shifted in the air.

**"Doctor."**

"I'm close, detective. Jongdae's software is just so old. I'm sorry for the long wait."

Minseok carried with him what seemed like a newly built component. It was the way Minseok furrowed his brows and the red in his fingers that Jongin came closer, his arms extending, taking away the heavy equipment from the doctor's hands. His cold digits brushed against Minseok's warm flesh, somehow sending flares up the doctor's ears.

"You're so cold, Jongin-ah."

It was a knowing look. Jongin simply smiled at the older man.

It had been three hours. Minseok looked like he had constantly being held by a sharp edge at his throat. The hands he laid on Jongdae was delicate. Each part of his lover he took off sent chills down Jongin spine. Menacing it was. From above Jongdae, staring him down on the surgical table like this.

"Let's see if this would react..."

Minseok left Jongdae's chest open. The blue neon lines of his wirings blinded Jongin as Jongdae beats a cobalt artificial heart. The doctor then reached up to press something behind Jongdae's head when suddenly the soft strands of Jongdae's hair waved with the air and golden sunset spread across his chocolate hair.

Something trickled at Jongin's eyes. Wet glands unable to hold back and tears fell.

Jongdae opened his eyes, reflecting cold pupils back Jongin's dark chocolate ones.

**"Jongdae?"**

But the android didn't say anything. Just stared soullessly forth pass Jongin.

"He's still rebooting. I'm afraid if I change too much... He might not—" Minseok cut himself off and went back to dig deeper in Jongdae.

For Jongin, it was too much. The golden blonde of his hair felt like poisonous arrows burrowing through his frail heart.

Once more, Minseok pressed something on Jongdae's hands and suddenly the world stopped for Jongin.

The colors burned on Jongdae's skin, dancing all around, lighting the android's flesh like Jongdae was a live piece of art. The rainbow on his skin. The glitter on his face.

"Wow. I've never seen this before..." Minseok beamed at the beauty of the android. "I see why he malfunctioned."

There was something buried within the code that only his old friend knew.

"My uncle must have equipped him with this... _magic_. I think it's reacting to Jongdae's emotions. It wasn't on when he first started up with you. And if anything, it's the fact that something activated it that his outdated software couldn't run."

Minseok mumbled something strange about the components. He wasn't sure why Zhang would upload such programming into Jongdae's hardware, but Jongin wasn't really complaining. It was the fact that Jongdae looked this bright and colorful, a creature that ascended further from both mankind and androids.

 **"Is it real?"** Minseok turned to Jongin who watched him with pleading eyes, glittering with soft teardrops. **"His feelings?"**

Minseok just looked at Jongin in a soft smile.

"I think you already figured that one out yourself."

🌸

Minseok was typing away at his computer, eyes attached to the screen.

Jongin found the older man intriguing, spending his whole career as a mechanic for androids while calling himself a doctor. Some humans still hadn't truly accepted the existence of android as anything remotely worth comparing to them.

"You want to ask me something." Minseok simply said, eyes still glued to all the endless graphs showing Jongdae's vital. "You don't have to be proper with me."

Jongin breathed in. Silence graced the room.

This time Minseok looked up from the monitor with a look that even an experienced detective like him could barely decode. That warmth in his eyes. The slight rise in his brows. Something sad in those pupils, but Jongin couldn't get why Minseok was looking at him that way.

"You never changed, did you, detective?" a rasp in his old voice.

**"Really?"**

"You remind me so much of my childhood days." Minseok's eyes turned back to Jongdae, eyes weary of every move. "Both of you do."

But Minseok never went further and Jongin didn't want to interrupt.

"The last time I tried to download his memories, it wouldn't let me. Zhang encrypted him well. Too well really, I'm going to try again to protect the memories, but if I can't, then it's going to be all up to Jongdae whether or not the breakdown corrupted his memories or not."

It was merely data, those memories... Jongin found Minseok so fond of androids that he was treating all them as if they were humans.

But did it really matter? If Jongdae remembered him or not? Jongin clearly didn't matter. If anything, Jongin would resort to doing whatever Jongdae wanted at this point. The detective was in deep at this point, no longer able to get out of Jongdae's hold, not that he'd ever wanted to.

It was that moment that Jongdae opened his eyes once more, the ocean blue seeped away from the pupils and back it came the bright chocolate ones that Jongin etched on to his tired heart.

_"Jongin."_

🌸

**"Jongdae?"**

_"It's true... you do wait for me."_

**"You remembered?"**

Jongin was in a world of euphoria and hurt at the same time. Jongdae pushed himself off the table, his skin glowing of colors, dancing all around were these psychedelic shades all over Jongdae. His hair light blonde never actually changed back to light chocolate.

_"It's 2067, correct, Dr. Kim?"_

"Why— yes." It was Minseok that shed a tear this time. Eyes wide, both horrified and excited at the same time. The doctor was up and left. "I— I shouldn't be here. You two just..."

Immediately Jongin wanted to ask about how he knew Minseok, but Jongdae was this close. All Jongdae had to do was stand before him. The heat on his flesh was so real, Jongin experimentally touched the android. Each touch brought about different colors, so much so that it drugged Jongin mentally.

_"You looked like you've seen me before..."_

Jongin's eyes blinked, realizing that he'd been crying this whole time.

**"Who... who are you? Are you really Jongdae?"**

Jongdae stared at him before looking away to Minseok's computer, analyzing what was happening around him. _"I was powered on, wasn't I?"_

Jongin looked away, his heart burned with so much wreckage, the old detective didn't think he could deal with anymore.

_"Jongin, please... look at me."_

**"You're not Jongdae..."**

_"We were together for a time, weren't we? I can see images of us, but... it's all fried."_

Jongin couldn't take it, a step away from Jongdae.

 _"Jongin, please. I only know that I was supposed to be with you from the beginning, I'm so sorry I made you wait all this time."_

Something there in Jongdae's eyes told Jongin that it was the same Jongdae, but there was something more now. Like the Jongdae he knew all this time was just a part of him. But Jongin wouldn't know that, and now that reality was unraveling itself, Jongin could only deal with so much of what he didn't know.

**"From the beginning?"**

_"I'm always yours, and you're always mine."_

**"How would you know?"** Jongin felt the pain leaving his lips and burned at Jongdae's hearts as the smaller android eyes faltered even just a little.

_"I could only remember this much... What happened between us before this?"_

He had to get out of here.

_"Jongin, please, you have to help me remember."_

**"I'm sorry."**

🌸

Jongin breathed in the air where Korea connected. The city lights burned his pupils with worries of the endless nights. His eyes still no focus. He'd first thought he could find nothing but restless nights. And Jongdae had come to take that all away, but now he put Jongin back where he started.

Where should he really be? Wandering like this forever?

At first, he'd lost his old friend, and now that he'd found something or rather someone to lean onto, that, too, was taken away.

 _"Jongin."_ Jongin knew it was the same voice. A beautiful one, but in his mind, it was too good to be true. _"Here!"_

Jongin looked back at him. Jongdae had always been petite. Even from this far, his eyes were still shining with that glint of innocence that was stolen from him. His golden blonde hair dancing with harsh current, a hint of the warm bright sunshine. The white shirt he wore blinded his darkened soul if he had thought he had one. The colors on his skin no longer dancing. It was that same milky shine skin that Jongdae had.

Jongdae never looked so prettier with the silky blonde strands of hair under the light that Jongin's eyes were brimming with the same fear that he first met the android.

The abrasive wind blew through the restless night, but here they were, in the middle of the bridge. Once again.

Something different about them.

Something about them. Not right.

Stepping into the streetlight, Jongdae seemed to grace the bridge with a heavenly whereas Jongin stayed in the shadows, where he always was.

Once more, Jongin felt tight all around his throat, the past pinpointing his vitals. Jongin couldn't move. It was Jongdae that took away all of the walls he had built for so long ... and now... He still couldn't stand it. His eye smile crinkled too much that it hurt him, laced with a hint of desperation. Such youthful innocence. The little tilt in his head. So precious. It must be the same Jongdae. He told himself already that he would deal with whatever happened, but reality had always hit Jongin a little harder than he'd expected.

Suddenly, Jongin had the desperate urge to get away, not wanting any part of this while Jongdae just simply took his silence as an answer and turned to the rails, jumping on them and watching the river from above. It was something about Jongdae that Jongin didn't want to disturb, that maybe without him he could deal with everything better, but—

_"I can't see the future without you."_

The smaller man said with such certainty that even he was taken aback.

Jongin couldn't really find anything to reply to a statement of that kind.

_"Sorry... I'm still Jongdae... I'm still the same... It's just that the person that you used to know... is only partially gone."_

Jongin finally met Jongdae's eyes. A smile for the pretty android.

**"That's what makes you human."**

Jongdae visibly shivered, stepping off the bridge railing, and Jongin's legs were moving before his own head. His jacket off and draped over the smaller man. Eyes unable to leave the lips that just 2 months ago he was touching.

Jongin would be more comfortable accepting him as human, but that would take time. The man had to convince himself once more that this was going to work.

_"Thank you."_

**"I'm sorry I ran off like that."**

_"It's okay. You have every right to."_

Jongin stepped back, space in between them that Jongin hated to impose, but had to. Jongin had to figure this out first. The answer was difficult the first time and it was even more convoluted now than ever.

 _"I see an image of us. Standing here. oh..."_ The delicate hands that once held on to him when they embrace on his bed touch his own golden hair. _"I should change it back to brown—"_

 **"You don't have to."** the last thing Jongin wanted Jongdae to do was try to impersonate what came before. **"You look better like this."**

His ears burned red and Jongdae smiled a small smile, a reserved one, unlike the carefree Jongdae he used to know.

Jongin knew he was the same Jongdae, but the mannerism was distinctive. Whereas old Jongdae would seemingly love him blindly, this Jongdae was more... aware. So much more thought in each word. It was strange that Jongin can feel the same energy although there something more to Jongdae now than before, something more controlled about Jongdae.

 _"I understand what you're going through, Jongin, but can I at least be right beside you?"_ The tone in his voice a little deeper, eyes more focused on Jongin than when he was just finding everything around him fascinating. _"We'll talk when you're ready."_

Jongin could still see Jongdae shivering, the back of his head knew he was an android, imitating life at its most perfect form, but it didn't quell his need to hold him close to share his warmth. In reality, however, Jongin couldn't move. The man turned the other way, evading Jongdae's renewed force behind his gaze.

**"Don't worry. I'll take you home."**

🌸

Jongin opened the door to his apartment, just now realizing that he'd been spending two months in Minseok's labs, staring at Jongdae's face every night. Everything was exactly the same as he'd left. The bed unkempt, the dishes sent off an irritant odor, the clothes dropped by the closet. That yellow shirt Jongin bought for Jongdae lying lifeless on the floor crumpled just like how Jongdae was in his arms.

 _"Well, this place needs cleaning."_ Violet lighted up on Jongdae's face. A gentle voice, there was no sarcasm laced within, just genuine worry. _"You get some rest, Jongin—"_

**"No."**

Something flickered in Jongdae's eyes, and Jongdae struggled to find words.

**"I— I mean... I'll clean the place up myself."**

_"I can help, you know. I can—"_

**"What if you power off again?"**

That warm recognition in Jongdae's eyes. This Jongdae sent a different feeling. A lot slower than the Jongdae before. A lot more patient.

 _"Minseok has already updated me with the finest tech this year. I know him well. He's good at his job."_ Setting Jongin's coat on the rack, Jongdae still roamed around his space, inspecting quiet admiration as everything amused him despite the terrible state the apartment was in. The neon lights still impressed him. Maybe, some things didn't change. _"It's very... colorful."_

So Jongin stayed back in the living room, making the bed and sweeping the floor as the android washed the dishes. From time to time, Jongdae would hum away at a tune as he worked in the kitchen.

Jongin's eyes burned holes through Jongdae's back. The blonde hair bouncing as he strolled around, inhabiting the place as if he'd been here before— well, he had been here _before,_ but this Jongdae hadn't seen his whole apartment yet and he was already settled in. Unlike Jongdae who explored every crook and cranny Jongin's apartment had, this new Jongdae was just content to stay in the kitchen brushing away at every single germ taking over his apartment.

**"You've been here before."**

Jongdae's hand stopped midway from closing the fridge before the smaller man turned to him with that calm expression.

 _"Zhang powered me on a few times."_ Jongdae sat on the bed arms hugging the unicorn plushy. _"One of them involving him taking me here."_

Jongin sat back on the couch, maintaining the space between them. Jongin remembered how his broken senses would light up at Jongdae's milky touch, but now, it was dead once more. His cells were unable to pick signals.

His old friend had always been intrusive.

Perhaps to ensure his android safety, Zhang had made him inhabit Jongin's space.

 **"Can I ask about the ... colors?"** the reason why Jongdae malfunctioned in the first place.

Jongdae still looked around of course. Although he was familiar with the space, the new life and color that belonged to others beside Jongin adorn the apartment. Each part was a memory. Baekhyun's unicorn that Jongdae was holding on to right now. The endless plushy collection. The colorful neon lights. All the children's drawings, both amateur, and world-class level decorate his walls.

_"I just find it beautiful, so I asked Zhang to upload it."_

In a flicker, Jongdae lighted up almost brighter than the neon lights around him. The brushes, the strokes of every color slide across Jongdae's skin, swimming in his perfection, making Jongin envy the function itself. It should be his color, his hands that should be sliding against Jongdae's skin— Jongin's eyes shut close, squinting away the feelings, shutting out Jongdae's magnificent colors.

_"He took me to an aquarium once, and I remembered the color of the ocean and all that existed in the ocean."_

Still, Jongin couldn't help but drink in the beauty of the android before him. How could he reject him? When Jongdae was practically the color of the universe itself. Jongdae's universe – crushing and tearing away at Jongin's orbit, ignoring his gravity and making its own rules, turning his whole world upside with his pull. Something about Jongdae would always draw Jongin in, no matter how hard he tried to push him away.

 _"I just thought... I want to be like that. Tranquil like the water, but colorful like the creatures in the vast ocean."_ Jongdae looked forth out the cold night through the window of his apartment high up in the air.

Even from this far, Jongdae still persisted in his personal space. Jongin didn't even realize he was being suffocated until he was inhaling huge pumps of air to refill his lungs.

It must have been too much his gaze upon the petite man. Jongdae then turned away from Jongin's stare, seemingly hiding his brilliant smile, something he never did previously. Hiding his smile.

_"Where should I sleep?"_

Jongin only laid comfortably on the couch, forcing himself to look away from Jongdae.Quietly, Jongin turned away from Jongdae, backing the smaller man, a heart heavier than ever.

**"You take the bed. I'll stay on the couch."**

_"Okay."_

He could feel Jongdae sulking under his breath. This was going to be more grueling than the first time.

_"Good night, Jongin-ah."_

🌸

No longer could Jongin drink without thinking about Jongdae. Not that he could even drink anyway. The smaller man kept watch on him. Very gentle in his gaze, but something demanding behind those kitten eyes.

At first, he had lost his purpose. His old friend gone from this world, leaving the old detective to his own device. Leaving him in this enormous world, where he could easily drown in the vast sea of people, particularly Kim Jongdae.

He was no longer alone, but something in him was still dim and dark. That scared detective was still within him.

Here he was, under this beautiful dawn, Jongdae fluttered his eyes opened from the bed, head bending looking around and caught his eyes, smiling at Jongin like he was the most precious thing in his eyes. Somethings didn't change.

Surely, Jongdae finally saw the flawed, broken, wreckage inside of him, but those lips stretched so enticingly that Jongin couldn't look away, almost convincing him that Jongin was somehow redeemable.

_"Good morning, Jongin-ah."_

Jongin had spent so long not moving that once Jongdae moved him, he couldn't turn back to what was before.

This Jongdae just stared him, waiting for his reactions, asking where he wanted to be.

**"I don't know."**

_"Come on, we shouldn't stay here the whole time. Something beautiful out there needs to be seen."_

Jongin wanted to tell him that Jongdae was that beautiful thing, but of course, the conscious part of Jongin stopped himself.

_"Where to, detective?"_

**"Anywhere with you."**

The same answer. It was what Jongdae had told him, silently the man hoped that the android would recover something from that statement, but all Jongdae did was burn up and coughed at the sudden confession.

" _Oh... Oh— well, then. Um, how about the –uh..."_ fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, Jongdae looked away from the old detective and towards the window, seeing something in the distance _. "The mall? I'd like to get some clothes."_

**"Okay."**

Shyer. Definitely shyer. Well, not completely shy, really. The moment Jongdae said it, the android then just took off the crumpled white shirt that he'd been wearing for the whole he was on Minseok's table, no caring about Jongin's eyes on him. Somethings were still intact akin to muscle memory. The old Jongdae wasn't completely gone.

There was a faint line where Minseok opened him, but that wasn't really what kept Jongin's attention on Jongdae's body.

_"Oh... Sorry, can I borrow your clothes for the moment?"_

**"You always borrow my shirt."**

It was by accident, the way Jongin blurted it so casually when he stretched himself on the couch, and before he realized what was going on, Jongdae was already taken by his statement.

_"What else did we do?"_

All Jongin could do was walk away from Jongdae's sight.

🌸

The scars on his face didn't look any more attractive. His dark raven hair reflected from the glass window clearly inferior to the shine that was Jongdae, an angel's reflection rather. Nothing about him was of any substance, yet here Jongdae was trying to impress him.

The lime green looked good on him, the shirts he picked all fit him. Jongdae bouncing around brightly in his world. Though every time he caught eyes with Jongin, Jongdae would tone his excitement down. If he was trying to hide his emotions, he wasn't really doing a good job.

Soon, Jongin's hands were filled with bags of clothes and groceries. Jongdae was so into shopping that they powered through rows of products and manage to buy almost one of a different kind.

Jongin didn't mind. Jongdae was enjoying himself. He should be.

_"Zhang taught me how to cook, so neither of us has to worry about boring food."_

The glow in his eyes never lost, however. Jongdae was adamant about not giving up on him. A part of Jongin was moved, mountains apart, he felt the flattery chipping away at his fragile heart. A part of Jongin stayed shut, not moving, and it was dominating, Jongin's consciousness not letting himself fall for the android's antics.

The little curl on his lips never failed to make Jongin's heart beat. The rainbow ice cream in his hand as he hoped about the sidewalk. The sky growing colder as the evening sunset swallowed place whole. The sun-kissed skin bare and porcelain in Jongin's eyes as Jongdae tilted his head to stare up at the cherry blossoms' in its fleeting beauty, the fine lines on trailing down his neck Jongin used to taste.

The old detective looked to the side, the street empty of people, filled with only busy traffic. It must be a nuisance to not own a car, but then again, he got to walk with Jongdae. That was enough of a new excuse.

A familiar face. A tall stature that Jongdae bumped into. It was the way that his shoulders collided with the silver hair man that broke Jongin a little bit. The palms pressed against his slender arms, stabling Jongdae.

_"Sorry, I wasn't watching –"_

"It's alright— Omo! Detective?" those big eyes, big ears and big smile of his. Jongin thought he found that familiar on a certain someone.

**"Chanyeol?"**

"Aw, you remember, Hyung~~" it was quickly the giant's interest was no longer on Jongdae, his flowery shirt dancing with the wind as he skipped toward the old detective and brought him into for a suffocating embrace.

 **"I'm old enough to be your Ahjusshi—"** Jongin shouldn't feel this much, but the warm embrace of Chanyeol's made his eyes shine with the moonlight, remembering the days he'd spent with the much younger kid.

"You're always my Hyung, forever my Hyung~~" no matter how huge the kid was, Chanyeol squeezed himself smaller, big head resting against Jongin's neck, excited breathing brushing past the nape of his neck. "Oh, and you two must be together?"

Jongdae watched the two of them, fond of the look with something longing in his eyes _. "I'm Kim Jongdae."_

"Oh, my god. Is this the one?" Chanyeol turned to the old detective, his eyes sparkled with connections in his own mind. "I'll get my boat ready, holy—"

At the mention of a boat, Jongdae's ears perked up.

**"Are you sure? It's a little late."**

"No, no. It's not a real cruise. I'll just drive you around, you know, a little sneak peek of my full cruising experience." It was the smug confidence Chanyeol wore that Jongin was found to be affectionate.

There weren't many protests really. All the shopping bags kept away inside the boat. Chanyeol happily drove his boat through the gentleness of the Nakdong River, his hair flying with the evening air, confident in his steering, taking the both of them through the calm ride with nature, away from all the technology.

Jongin watched Jongdae smiled and giggled, a painting above all the city lights flickering keeping Busan alight with colors. The smaller man let himself flow with the night breeze, eyes in love with the nature surrounding him.

 _"Can there be a next time?"_ his eyes brighter than all of Busan, shining right into Jongin more tired ones.

**"With Chanyeol, there must be a next time."**

Jongdae just chuckled at him, so effortlessly pretty, blending himself with the beauty of Busan's night.

It was the way that Jongdae watched the water with fascination that Jongin couldn't really deny Chanyeol the fancy boat ride he wanted to give. That promise made 17 years ago of a romantic cruise Chanyeol offer Jongin along with someone he deemed to be his partner.

Every time Jongin came across Chanyeol empty-handed, the younger would just smile and pat the old detective on the back, telling him that he could wait longer and longer until he could find someone.

"Next time, I'll take you to the beach, let you watch the sea, swim with the fish, oh— you'll love sunbathing, I'll definitely be doing that."

As Chanyeol rambled on about his amazing cruise, enticing Jongdae evermore, Jongin just picked up his things and waited on shore, watching the two fell deep into a conversation about the sea. It was when they waved goodbye and embraced as a farewell that Jongin realized that he hadn't really held Jongdae since months ago. And the itch to do so grew, but being the experienced detective, Jongin knew how to restrain himself.

_"It's alright if we can't go."_

**"I made a promise with Chanyeol."** A simple reason. **"I'll take you on a cruise."**

 _"Promise?"_ Jongdae, giddy on his toes, excited at the prospect, pointed a pinkie at the old detective who tried not to fall over with so many groceries and bags on his arms, but Jongin could always spare a pinkie for the pretty man.

**"Promise."**

🌸

Jongin watched Jongdae bounced before him.

The android's eyes sparkled with the idea of the sea and touching it.

Well, it wasn't like he wasn't allowed to be submerged in water. His old friend had built that particular function up so well, that even if Jongdae tried to drown himself, he wouldn't die.

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 

Jongin's whole life was about protecting others, and mostly failing to do so. The dead weighed in his muscles dragging him once more as he thought of his gloomy past, so the old detective looked up to Jongdae whose lips curled at the mention of Chanyeol. It was still easy to cheer Jongdae up. Some things didn't change.

**"He was drowning, playing in the river."**

Jongin should really turn off his analytic brain from time to time, seeing how Jongdae's bright lens suddenly drained of life hearing the news.

**"I kept him around until he knew how to swim."**

That was the thing about Chanyeol. Unlike other kids, he actually wanted to keep swimming despite his dying breath. A small smile. Chanyeol was somehow an airhead in the nicest way possible.

_"Really? Wasn't he afraid?"_

**"Chanyeol was terrified."** Jongin chuckled, the groceries in his hands he brought closer to his hold, consciously reminding him of the little kid that clung to his old police uniform. **"He couldn't let go of me at first."**

It was impossible to look away from Jongdae when the light shone on him this way, the stars blinking in the distance, his blond hair dancing right into his heart. The familiar knowing smile the smaller man had always given him.

**"He just trusts me."**

It took a long time to get Chanyeol genuinely excited for the water again, but it worked. The final mark of overcoming his fears was the promise. As long as either of them was alive, Chanyeol promised to never stop cruising and taking care of the water. The same goes for humans for Jongin. Humans had been hurtful from time to time, but he was still there, looking after them.

Their apartment finally appeared throughout the sea of neon buildings. As they approached the entrance, something seethed past Jongin's ears.

A dying screech abruptly halted that even the loud atmosphere seemed to quiet down in fear.

_"Jongin?"_

Through the dark alley Jongdae watched, Jongin stepped into the space filled with the sound of soft meat slapping against the concrete.

Jongdae's hands trembled. The small groceries he held tightly against his chest as he fell over, knees wobbling underneath the gaze of what he was seeing. 

🌸

Jongin knew it wasn't the time to be emotional.

He watched as he approached the men further into the alley. The limps of a frail man came into view. Bruises and blood etched on to the skin of the heaving man. Closer Jongin approached and the moment he met the gaze of the man broken on the pavement, the old detective growled with heat.

Of course, it caught the attention of the ones standing above him.

"Well, well, well, what have we got here?"

Jongin stayed silent. His eyes scanned the men slowly surrounding him. It was a gang by looks of it, but this was out in the open. In this day and age, gang activities stayed out of the city's sight. Only the underground would see the existence of such acts.

But Jongin got distracted once more as he got closer–

**A ... kid?**

These men were beating a teenager rather. He was pretty tall and lanky. The features on his face were dull yet with strange protrusions in places showing how his flesh was still trying to grow to fit all the bones, but he was still just a kid.

"None of your business, shithead!" One of the men angered by the old detective presence.

And before he could exhale his next breath, Jongin felt a crack in the air. To his right, the sonic wave brushed against his ears. A dry smile. It had been a while since he met criminals without dialogues. Listening to their useless threats would have bored his old bones. Good thing that this fight would certainly not grind his ears into dust.

The bullet grazed his long coat by the shoulder as he flipped himself over and swiftly run into the hands that pulled the trigger, his body flow with the wind and soon, his hair brushed against the arms that held the gun. His right arm lifted, fingers folded to the second crease, close to the gunman's diaphragm.

Jongin held his breath and drove his fist forward.

Red tickled his ears.

It'd been a long time since he landed a one-inch punch.

Jongin wasted not one more second to pick the handgun that man dropped as his body quickly atrophied and spasmed against the cold concrete due to the sudden impact.

Luckily, he wasn't dealing with any android criminals. Humans, Jongin knew best how to deal with. As long as you could act spontaneous, the ones unskilled wouldn't be able to keep up. An act of dominance would crumble their confidence even though Jongin in actuality had no dominance in anything. But he could at least _act,_ so that could count.

"Shit, he's one of _them_." The other seethed, teeth grinding, "Fall back!"

Typical. They had more than enough men to take Jongin out. But then again, Jongin was a detective. His existence alone could jeopardize their hideouts, thus, _their existence_. And so, they fled through the other side of the alley, taking the fallen with them, cloaking themselves in the darkness.

Jongin had no intention of following. The kid was first priority.

 ** _"F... fuck off! Fu—"_** such pale and boney figure lying in the garbage bile. His lips dry, cracking, but his face swollen and filled with blood. Cough hoarse and painful. Jongin bit back a tear and slipped a comforting hand beneath the back of his neck.

He could feel the kid trying to fight off the touch, but it was only a weak slap on the dirty concrete.

**"Shh... it's okay. You're safe with me."**

Jongin sensed the tensed shoulders slightly relaxed against his forearms as he scooped the kid up.

 _"Oh, no..."_ Jongdae watched the kid whimpered in horror. _"I heard a gunshot. Is he—"_

 **"He's alright... for the most part."** The small movements against Jongin's chest tore away at his fragile heart. **"His oldest bruises are at least a few days old."**

Their feet quick to their apartment. It seemed like there was a silent agreement with what was to happen with this kid. Jongin had never closed his doors to those in need. Plus, it would not be wise to get him to a hospital as he was surrounded by a gang. Worse, mafia... This kid might be someone important.

How could this have happened so close to his home, and he failed to know?

 _"It's okay. We're close to home. Hang on..."_ Jongdae whispered into the teen's ears through hiccups, not knowing that he had probably lost consciousness.

**Oh. Right...**

Jongin hadn't been around the complex as he occupied Minseok's space... Waiting for Jongdae. 

The old detective's eyes darted the android whose tears had certainly blocked his vision.

At that moment, Jongdae caught his stare and heart along with it. 

How? With such sorrow in his orbs, Jongdae still shone through to Jongin. It would take a long time to figure out how his own heart work when Jongdae was around.

_"He'll be alright, right? Jongin?"_

**"He'll be fine. I promise."**

🌸

Jongin felt the juncture of his shoulders. When he felt the socket through the skin, the old detective grimaced and had Jongdae hold him down. Silently, he gripped at his upper arm and pushed, fixing the dislocated arm.

Tears glistening on the kid's cheeks. 

Jongin had already administered 2 doses of morphine, but the fragile one could still feel it. As he ignored all the insults thrown at him from the angsty teen, his hands were gentle cleaning up all the wounds. His rusty fingertips applying all the ointment on his swollen face.

It seemed that the android refused to sleep, his hands near the injured kid at all times, staring at how he was breathing. Jongin, on the other hand, couldn't sleep either. With Jongdae up all night and a kid seemingly with trouble, the old detective must be cautious.

_"I'm Jongdae. And that's Jongin."_

At dusk, Jongdae found the teen's eyes staring up at the ceiling, confused by all the neon lights. But it was soon discovered that it was not easy to get him to open up. Not surprised, the old detective sighed. However, Jongdae, clearly distressed, tried to get closer to the kid.

It wasn't Jongin's first time really. Dealing with teenagers, abused and hopeless. They shut themselves down, he told Jongdae. He didn't have to worry, so Jongdae kept a distance and just quietly cooked what a human teen needed for nutrients.

_"Kiddo, eat slowly –"_

**_"Don't fucking call me 'kiddo,'"_** the teen growled at Jongdae, but his hands were moving with the spoon and fork, stabbing fish and eating well on his own.

It had been a few days of lying in bed, and finally, he was able to stand up and eat on his own. Difficult enough feeding the kid who didn't want any interactions with the world. Much worse when he gained mobility.

 **"Then what do I call you?"** Jongin tried. Really really did. The antagonizing eyes, the stare down at Jongdae. It was fine handling troubled kids on his own, but having Jongdae around and having him getting the short end of the stick was not part of the plan. 

For a second there, his voice was dark and tinged with annoyance. And with a flicker of _something,_ the kid turned away from Jongdae and him, eyes trained on the food.

**_"... Sehun."_ **

Now he looked like he'd bit his own tongue and probably burst one of the abscesses in his gums as the kid whimpered in pain, dropping his fork. Jongin opened his mouth, but Jongdae beat him to it.

 _"I told you to eat slowly!"_ Quickly, he was by Sehun's side, holding his jaws in place and staring into his mouth. Jongdae's eyes rapidly moving, hands tilting the kid's head. So, Zhang did install the scan function in Jongdae. Well, every android had one. But knowing that this was the first functioning android, it must have been a feat.

Sehun had a face. More intense towards Jongdae, but he didn't deny the android's care. Eyes were still glued to the table when Jongdae was done with doing the dishes.

**_"Why did you bring me here?"_ **

Finally, a question. Jongdae had been torturing him with insistence questions of why he couldn't just talk to the kid and get to know him during the treatment. 

Diving in too quick with affection and they would see it as unreal. A trick to gain their trust and break them again. Sehun saw Jongdae as a threat obviously. The kid had to be the one making the first move. With a kid in this condition, Jongin too had to play hard to get.

Jongin looked at Sehun. The skin glistened with a healthy color. The purple slowly fading. He looked angry, but his eyes were scared.

**"I don't think you would've liked it if I left you in a hospital with those kinds of people looking for you."**

The teen blinked, his shoulders slightly slumped, his head leaned back. Sehun stayed quiet for a long while. Jongin simply read the updates on the news on his laptop across the kitchen table.

They hadn't been able to leave. Jongdae insisted on staying next to Sehun and Jongin couldn't leave these two alone in a room. And now food was running out. The grocery they bought was enough to feed a hungry teenager.

At the end of his eyes, he could see Jongdae behind Sehun, obviously wanted to hold the kid close and give him the warmth he deserved, but with Jongin's stern rule, he couldn't get close. At least not immediately.

Jongdae was perhaps programmed that way. To love. To love unconditionally.

Jongin could handle him to an extent, but Sehun might take longer. Trying to force one's way in would definitely scare off the teen.

 ** _"You could've left me out there."_** It was endearing that he had a lisp. Jongin held down the urge to pet him and tell the teen everything would be okay with him close.

 **"But I didn't."** it was curt and effective in communication, of course. Every word coming out of his lips out made Jongdae grimaced. The old detective really didn't want to do this, but it was the only way to get through to Sehun.

 ** _"Why?"_** there was a bite to it now. Sehun's eyes flared with real anger this time but remained still. **_"Was I not worth the bullet?"_**

_"Sehun, don't say that—"_

**_"Shut the fuck up, android!"_ **

It certainly stopped Jongin's façade, his fingers no longer on the laptop. Eyes on the frantic Sehun and the hurt Jongdae. Something in Sehun's eyes flickered when Jongdae cowered away from the kitchen and rushed to the bathroom. Door closing.

Jongin was furious at what was happening, but the word also made the old detective reflect. He, too, had been seeing Jongdae as an android, setting a painful distance, rejecting Jongdae the purpose he was built for... to care for him and love him. He, too, was in the wrong. 

Sehun was still in defense mode, his hands clutched hard, fingernails digging into flesh. He wanted to say something else, but now hesitation setting in, the kid realized that he could feel guilt perhaps. There was a battle in his eyes, and the casualty was Jongdae.

 **"I'd rather say the bullet didn't worth your life."** Jongin calmly as possible stated.

He could see the regret in Sehun's eyes now. It was a teen's nature to act impulsively. Jongin knew it too well.

 ** _"Why the fuck do you care?"_** it wasn't the first time Jongin heard the question. Baekhyun asked him the same thing. And now that he thought about it, Chanyeol, at one point, said something similar. Something teens had in common. 

**"The kids I failed to save longed for a life."**

Jongin ignored directly answering and sighed, eyes now staring at the bathroom door. Jongdae can still perfectly listen to their conversation, and it seemed that Sehun knew it too.

 **"A life, different from what they had."** The old detective closed his laptop, finally fully focused on the teen. **"The kids I saved, I try to give them that different life."**

Something was stuck in Sehun's throat. Jongin could see it. The longing, the want. All children. Well... everyone really... wanted to be heard, seen, noticed, taken care of. But not all had the chance. He could tell Sehun had the potential to shine bright like Chanyeol.

**_"Then why do you keep me locked up in here?"_ **

**"It's not like you could walk that far with those wounds."**

**_"So, you'll let me go if I'm healed?"_ **

**"Sure."**

It was so easy to read Sehun. Those innocent angry chocolate eyes faltered, its fire scorching halted. They would always tell Jongin that they wanted to run away from here, but their real emotions hidden behind blatant hurtful words spouting at him was obvious.

 ** _"... Really? J— Just like that?"_** Jongin could **see** Sehun didn't want Jongin to push him away even though he was doing that same thing to the tired detective. It was always conflicting, the mind of a teen. Full of hormones and not knowing where or how to vent them. **_"I can just leave once this is over?"_**

 **"Well, on one condition,"** Sehun looked almost happy at the sudden handicap, and Jongin had to suppress a chuckle. **"If you can tell me what you're going to do once you leave this place."**

It looked almost as if Sehun didn't understand what Jongin was talking about. The kid didn't even try to fake his anger and angst at him anymore. Sehun just looked lost.

**_"What— what do you mean?"_ **

**"Tell me what you want to do once you get out of here."** Jongin walked over to the coffee that Jongdae had made on the kitchen counter. **"Cause once you step out of this place and tell me you're leaving, I'm not going to follow and have Jongdae feed you the rest of your life."**

His lips started to tremble, his eyes suddenly glazed with shiny droplets, but the tears didn't fall. The shaking hands wiped away roughly at his eyes, ignoring how painful the lingering pain on his face. Sehun must have swallowed too much air because he began coughing. Eyes briskly blinking away tears.

Jongin knew what Sehun was going to say, so he cut him off.

 **"You know, Jongdae's the first android ever."** His tone changed. There was a smile playing on his lips now. Sehun was taken aback by the friendly tone. Jongin didn't miss the surprise on the younger's face either. **"He malfunctioned a few weeks ago. Lost much of his memories."**

The change in topic took Sehun out of the teary situation as a new emotion emerge. Guilt.

**"I know you might want to forget some of the things that happened in your life, but... it's like losing a part of yourself when you do."**

The coffee warm in his hands, a tender smile at the care Jongdae put into brewing the coffee just for him.

 **"It hurts not just yourself but also the people around."** Hopefully, Jongdae was listening. Jongin sighed. Having to take care of kids meant opening himself up to their curiosity. It was a feat, but a feat Jongin would conquer for these kids if that was what it took to push them and gain their trust and affection. But then again, having to take care of Jongdae inferred the same thing...

Sehun slumped forward no longer hiding emotions.

**"I've never seen him this upset before, but only because it's a sensitive matter to him at the moment."**

Minseok had already fixed his data and memory storage. Things like this would never happen again. For the best.

 **"Jongdae-hyung,"** The old detective eyed the kid with a fond look. **"is what you should call him. You'd be surprised at how old he actually is."**

Sehun looked at Jongin. Finally, that look was back in his eyes. Curiosity.

**_"How old is—"_ **

_"Sehun, no! That's rude!"_ The bathroom door burst open. **Oh, cute.** Jongin failed to suppress his emotions when a seemingly adorable Jongdae tried to sound angry. The frowns furrow, his kitten lips pressed and pouted, his arms stretched downward, hands cutely clutched, eyes glaring at a startled Sehun. _"Yes, even for androids, it's rude."_

**_"Oh... But Jongin-hyung said..."_ **

Jongdae, of course, glared at Jongin this time. The old detective now was the one alarmed. That Jongdae was mad at him for once. And that Sehun just called him hyung. Jongin wanted to squeeze Sehun's cheek so much right now with how flushed the kid had gotten the moment he said the word, but Jongdae's vicious glare was _not_ _pretence,_ and it was getting uncomfortable.

 **"Okay! Okay..."** Arms up surrendering to Jongdae's unamused stare, maybe it was because Jongin had never truly seen Jongdae mad before. **"I'm sorry! I was just telling him about you that's all."**

 ** _"I'm sorry, too... Hyung."_** Sehun didn't say much else, eyes unable to meet Jongdae's. The adults knew what the kid meant when he said sorry.

Jongdae sighed, his fury gone. His expression now with tender gaze, his hands tangled with the kid's hair and ruffled his short dark strands. Sehun first flinched at the touch but didn't move away. 

_"I forgive you."_

It was clear as day that Jongdae could never have the heart to blame Sehun. And it looked like Sehun was okay with that. 

🌸

The kid confined himself to the small window, his head staring outside, breathing in the city air. Day and night, he was there, still not willing to engage in a conversation with Jongdae.

The old detective usually let this ride out. Jongin had all the time and he was patient. These kids would eventually break down and open up their feelings.

However, Jongdae was even more impatient than Sehun.

 _"Do you want to eat anything? I'll cook for you."_ It was the same question Jongdae had been asking for a few days now. Sehun still shrugged his shoulders and muttered a quick **_'whatever's delicious, thanks, hyung.'_**

Jongin's heart broke, pieces shattered into even smaller bits every time Sehun ignored Jongdae like that. But then he was reminded that he was also ignoring him, too.

The old detective sighed and leaned back against the couch. Back when he had to communicate alone with these kids, it was difficult but doable. This time around was much worse because every word he said now would determine his own credibility towards Jongdae as well. Maybe Jongin was too prideful in this, but he couldn't help it. Jongin wasn't ready to move on yet.

It was enticing the blonde of Jongdae's hair. Walking around the kitchen, opening the cupboards, splicing up the vegetables, tasting the food, and humming to his own rhythm as he cooked the food. Part of his brain knew that they were the same and that he shouldn't hesitate. Part of his brain didn't want to meddle in the same pain once more. If that kept happening, there would be no Jongin left. The old detective had handled things that were hard to stomach in the past, but this was on another level.

It was one night that Jongin finally convinced Jongdae to sleep. Jongin didn't use the word, but Jongdae knew he needed sleep. The blonde relaxed and considered, promising him he wouldn't break down like the last time, so now he was on the opposite couch, facing him in slumber.

**_"Why are you two together?"_ **

It was strange that teens weren't drawn to those who cared about them. Not to say that Jongin didn't care, but Sehun seemed to back away from Jongdae's care and affection while drawing close to Jongin's cool and seemingly detached self. Or maybe it was just people with trust issues in general.

**"Because we're meant to be together."**

That drew a smug expression out of him. **_"Really?"_**

**"Yeah, really. The creator made him for me. We're supposed to be together."**

**_"Oh."_** Extremely puzzled now, Sehun blinked at the old detective who was staring fondly at the sleeping android. **_"I thought..."_**

The kid, standing from afar, now closing in to sit on the couch with him, still keeping a distance, but he was much closer to Jongin.

**_"How do you feel about that?"_ **

**"Confused,"** Jongin admitted. This was the first question he asked all week. It was worth answering. **"I don't know what to do or what to feel."**

By the end of his eye, he could see Sehun was too staring at Jongdae's peaceful sleeping face.

**_"I get that."_ **

Jongin didn't want to blatantly ask. He hadn't really gotten any closure from the younger what happened in the alley that night, but knowing that it took so long to get him to talk, Jongin wasn't going to push it. **"I was starting to accept it."**

The kid was looking at him now, blinking, intrigued. **_"Starting?"_**

 **"It's all about existence in your word. Teens like to fuss over about those things, making impulsive decisions to end it all."** Jongin remembered the people he met over the years who attempted suicide. It was one thing running away from the debts, murders, and crimes they'd committed, but the most heartbreaking thing ... **"Purpose is a malleable expression."**

The old detective had spent his life alone, only picking up those who needed help along the way before pushing them back into the real world. His purpose was to guard, to protect, and to find justice. He was part of the law enforcement after all, but retiring had taken a toll on him. For such a clever detective like him, Jongin failed to plan for what to come after his retirement. True that he was still a part of the police force, but he was no longer a part of what he truly needed to be. His sole purpose was gone.

 **"You need a purpose to thrive in this world, and for those like Jongdae... they thrive on purpose."** The old man softened his gaze and turned to the kid listening to him closely. **"You really can't blame them for what they are. It's truly uncanny what they're capable of, but... unless they're told find another purpose, it's the only way they live."**

 ** _"Are their emotions real?"_** asked Sehun although it seemed less like asking Jongin and more like asking himself.

**"To them, it's real... I guess that's good enough for me to believe."**

**_"Then why aren't you..."_ **

**"I told you I was starting, didn't I?"** The old detective closed his eyes, remembering all the sweet memories he had with Jongdae. Those fingertips tracing his skin, those words lulling him to sleep, those lips against his making all the worries fade away... **"Remember I said to you he broke down weeks ago?"**

Sehun nodded.

 **"It's like... he's not the same anymore. I know it's him, but it's not him. They're not the same memories. His personality..."** That moment he turned back ignoring Jongdae's call for him to come back as he rushed out of Minseok's place, literally running away from him. It was selfish of him to have let Jongdae see him in such a condition. Jongin knew he should be punished for doing that to him as it wasn't Jongdae's fault for falling apart. **"He changed so quickly... I'm still taking it all in."**

**_"But he's still just..."_ **

Jongin now knew that Sehun was trying to convince himself of something. An android must have hurt him or confused him to make him go through all of this. Jongin understood that perfectly.

 **"Then again... changing is also part of human nature."** He said something similar to Jongdae. Jongdae was beautiful like this. Maybe, Jongin should gather his thoughts and really commit to him. **"Like everything else, change is permanent. It's the speed that is different, I suppose."**

Jongin chuckled to himself.

 **"Thanks, Hun-ah, for listening. I guess I shouldn't be confused anymore."** Jongin patted the kid's back, a smile on his face. **"Purpose is precious, and if one's purpose aligns with another's, perhaps one should fulfill it together."**

**_"I... I don't know what to do..."_ **

**"You can always find purpose with others."**

The kid watched Jongin as he approached Jongdae, his finger softly petting the blonde that was on his forehead.

**"You just have to let them help you."**

🌃

Jongin stood by the window, thinking about how he should approach Jongdae. It was childish of him to throw such a tantrum, but knowing Jongdae, the man would probably say it was natural and completely reasonable to react that way.

He had spent his whole life learning to accept himself and many other things. He couldn't just stop now. Jongin was given another chance after all. He should spend it properly.

It was then that he noticed a few cars below the apartment, one of which was Minseok's. It had to be Minseok who helped get groceries. He couldn't risk going out without endangering the kid. 

But the other cars bore numbers he had never seen, and coming out of them were –

**Androids?**

Jongin didn't get to think fast enough when he heard a loud scream from the back.

_"Don't touch him—"_

In a flash of an eye, Jongin felt himself being pushed away out of the window and now he saw himself through the reflection of the apartment windows as the moon lit up the sky, falling.

"Jongin!"

It was Minseok's voice, calling out to him, and when he turned around, anticipating his back crashing into the ground, an airbag unraveled itself and although it was a heavy landing, he was safe. Minseok came to drag him away.

"Jongin! Stop. You can't!"

**"They're taking them. I have to—"**

It was a slap to his face. "They got in without you noticing, and all of them are androids, you can't deal with them alone. Come on!"

And so, they were off. The old doctor did his best to start his car and drive away, but of course, there was one car following them.

"What happened?"

It was so quick that Jongin didn't get the time to feel anything. **"I think it was just a lady with a short wooden stick, pushing me off the edge."**

"No wonder why the alarm didn't go off." It was a digital weapon detector Jongin had installed secretly in the whole apartment, so he could monitor his own place and his neighbors.

 **"But they were in the apartment."** It was so silent. There was no trace at all. **"They must have some kind of high tech cloaking device."**

This was something that Jongin needed the police involved and the fact that they were being followed didn't make it any easier.

**"Get to the police station."**

"I'm on it."

They were discreet, of course. They were extremely organized it turned. The moment they knew the two of them were heading to the police station they backed off and drove away immediately. There was no speeding either, blending into the crowd like civilians.

**"They probably have cloaking devices on their cars, too. We can't trace them, but..."**

"I installed a GPS on Jongdae."

That did throw Jongin off guard, but the old detective sighed. **"I had one on Sehun, too."**

"Good, it's guaranteed we can find them then."

**"I thought I was ready for the attack."**

Of course, it wasn't the first time this happened. Although not to the kids he had brought into his place, it happened during missions where he took in victims or suspects to a certain place to act like baits. Jongin was always ready, setting everything up. And he was sure too that his apartment was invasion-proofed. Whoever outsmarted him must be one hell of a hacker.

"Detective Kim?" luckily, Taemin was just outside of the police department when they arrived.

**"We need to talk."**

They were in the younger detective's office when he exploded.

"Sehun?!" Big eyes staring at him like he couldn't believe it. "Are you sure it's Sehun?"

 **"I took a picture."** It was the day that Sehun got beat up and he secretly took pictures of the gang that were surrounding him. **"Some sort of gang, but they didn't seem interested in anything else but the kid. He must be important."**

"Important? He's the infamous mob boss's son!" Taemin typed something on his laptop and turned it around for the two of them to see. "Well, it was rumored in the underground world like that. We don't know for sure whether or not he had a biological son, but there _is_ a boy associated with him called Sehun."

Taemin took Jongin's phone inspecting Sehun's face.

"We don't even have his face in the database. He's not registered as a citizen. There's no record." Taemin stared strangely at the old detective. "How did you even find him?"

**"When we came back from walking around the city, we found him getting beat up near my apartment."**

"That's strange. Why your apartment?"

Taemin was on to something there. Jongin had been wondering, too. **"If it's the infamous mob boss you're talking about that I'm thinking of... how did Sehun run out? It seemed to me that Sehun ran away from home. And if they try to punish him, it couldn't have been out in the open like that."**

"Those guys are known for being stealthy and discreet as hell. There's no way a kid like him could just run out of wherever they kept him."

"They bypassed all the security locks too well. It's too coincidental." Minseok chirped in. "It's like someone was trying to get you involved."

"Whatever it is, I don't care. We've been looking for that mob boss to clean up the mess he's been making for a long time." Taemin leaned back in his chair, staring up at the two of them. "And like Dr. Kim said, if you're being dragged into this for a reason, then we're going to need your help."

"We have to update the police encryptions too if they could do that so easily."

Minseok was right. Jongin's apartment was _safe._ Safe-proof to the point where anything strange would alert the old detective since it was equipped with the highest tech from the police department. Jongin knew that he himself had built quite a reputation in the crime world. He was a skilled detective. There would be bad blood for him even after his retirement. He had anticipated the danger but not like this.

"What about the other one? He's safe?" Taemin looked behind them and walked to his window to check Minseok's car outside.

 **"Jongdae tried to stop them and was taken with Sehun."** Jongin didn't see what happened, but he was sure that Jongdae was the kind of person to do that. Jongdae took one look at Sehun, and Jongin knew that Jongdae couldn't leave that kid alone.

"Oh, goddamn it! Why did he have to be involved, too? Now it's double the priority!" Taemin was clearly stressed now, hands ruffling his own head. He tapped something in his earpiece before sending out a message. "We have an emergency situation. I want every available officer in the conference room now!"

"I guess someone dragged both of you into this," Minseok whispered. "They know who the two of you are."

Jongin couldn't concentrate. 

If anything were to happen to Jongdae or Sehun, Jongin would certainly lose himself. 

▼

It was faint. He could still remember her hands. Being tucked in bed by her angel touch. She always held him every time she had the chance. She never let him go unless father called her. The only that was blurry to him was her voice.

"Sehun-ah..." her long hair he saw dangling over his head. The simple stare and small smile she would give him. It was nothing pretty to other people, but for him, she was the world. "I'm sorry, but I have to go to father now. Stay in your room, okay?"

 ** _"Mother..."_** he whispered.

All Sehun ever wanted was to be loved. The warm fingers brushing through his hair at night and small laughter mother would make every time he did something stupid.

But a loud creak from that scary door crept into his ears tearing away his insanity.

**"ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɪꜱ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ, ᴋɪᴅᴅᴏ. ᴡᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ."**

Sehun was brought back to reality. It was dark. Everything was dark. He hated it. every single second of it.

**"ᴶⁱᵏⁱ, ʰᵉ'ˢ ˢᵗⁱˡˡ ʳᵉᶜᵒᵛᵉʳⁱⁿᵍ. ᴰᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵖᵘˢʰ ʰⁱᵐ."**

The smaller figure emerged from behind shielding Sehun away from the towering menace.

Biho took care of him well, but he was too shy most of the time, so fragile that Sehun thought Biho needed protection more than him. He seemed to be of the same age as Sehun, but slightly more childish. His voice was too small and gentle, no gut-punching impact to scare away anything.

**"ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴇ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ, ʙᴀꜱᴛᴀʀᴅ. ɪ'ʟʟ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ, ꜱᴏ ꜱʜᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ."**

But the bitter man stepped back anyway, a glare burning through Sehun's skull.

Jiki was hell itself. With his striking look, Jiki appeared to be in his prime age of beauty, yet there were such venom and hatred in every word he spit out. Looks did betray the personality. Sehun never knew what he did to make Jiki turned against him this way. He even managed to turn his father against his own son. Why wouldn't father love Sehun as mother did? It was because of Jiki. Everyone was underneath his hypnosis. Why they couldn't see through venom Sehun would never know. All sehun wanted at now was Jiki to be out of his life.

It was when Jiki looked to the other side of the room that Sehun realized what had happened.

He was strapped to the bed like usual, but the other side held the familiar gentle face of –

 ** _"Don't touch him!"_** With a hoarse throat, Sehun tried to stop the figure from his curious touches.

Jongdae was strapped too, but because there was no bed, he was strapped to the wall instead.

**"𝙸 𝚊𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚣𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛. 𝙸 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕. 𝙸'𝚖 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚒𝚛𝚌𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢. 𝙷𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚊 𝚑𝚒𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙹𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚜𝚘𝚗."**

The man simply lifted Jongdae's hand for him to see from this far. And of course, Aeho had always been most gentle and considerate with him, but he always looked detached from everything else happening around him. He looked the oldest amongst them. He was acting out emotions in his actions, but his expressions were unreadable. His voice was too cold, unlike mother. 

**"𝙶𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊 𝚏𝚎𝚠 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚜, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢, 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛."**

When he was younger, he had remembered his room was the safest place on earth, but now with Jiki leaning into Jongdae, a grip so tight around his jaws as he pushed away Aeho, Sehun knew it was hell.

**_"I said stop it! Don't fucking touch him, you monster!"_ **

**"ᴡᴇ'ʟʟ ꜱᴇᴇ ɪꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴜʏꜱ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ʜᴇʀᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ʜɪᴍ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ꜱᴘɪɴ."**

The reason for his misery.

The reason why he hated androids.

Sehun knew that Biho and Aeho were gentle, but every time Jiki did anything, they never stopped him. They protected him, but with a word from Jiki, they stopped. Androids were monsters. They only wanted to see him suffer.

As he was lost in screams trying to get Jiki to stop bothering Jongdae, the pretty android finally fluttered his eyes open and groaned at the pressure.

_"Sehun-ah?"_

But at that point, Sehun couldn't look Jongdae who stood strapped to the wall in the eye. It was too much. Jongdae was blinking, shaking his head, trying to wake himself up from what was unraveling.

_"Wait... what's happening?"_

**"ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴡᴇʟʟ, ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ ɪꜱ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴀᴡᴀᴋᴇ. ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ, ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛɪᴇᴘɪᴇ. ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ? ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱᴇ. ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ꜱᴇʜᴜɴ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ?"**

▼

**"ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ, ᴋɪᴅᴅᴏ..."**

▼

▼

**"ɪ'ʟʟ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍʏ ᴡᴀʏ."**

▼

🌃

"He's the one loose end you didn't tie." Taemin dryly chuckled. "I guess now I'm putting it on my retirement list."

It was strange how Taemin seemed calm and cool throughout all of this. Jongin could see the hectic happenings was stressing him out, but Taemin was still able to crack simple jokes.

"Why didn't you report this to us in the first place?"

"Because Jongin would do that," Minseok said as a-matter-of-factly. The old doctor was keeping an eye on the location of both Sehun and Jongdae in the strange faraway in the underground. "And because he knows Jongin would do that."

Jongin never really reported any of the incidents that involved the children. It'd always been this way. He didn't have the heart of getting them locked down under investigation.

 **"This guy outsmarted me... I suppose me taking care of Sehun is probably part of his plan."** Jongin inhaled a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Taemin was a lot better at emotions than he was at this point. Maybe that was why Jongin got retired. **"And you listening to all of us coming to this conclusion is part of it too, correct?"**

The young detective simply tilted his head. Minseok just blinked, not knowing what Jongin was referring to. There were only three of them in the office at the moment. It was then when Taemin opened his mouth to be interrupted by a ring on his laptop.

NOT BAD, DETECTIVE.

Words popped into Taemin's laptop without his authorization. Quickly the three gathered around, staring straight at the white letters appearing on top of a black background.

I CAN SEE YOU, YOUNG ONE. NO NEED TO TELL EVERYONE TO TRACK ME.

Taemin still did it anyway, sending a message to everyone that they were being hacked. Minseok's heart beat as he knew he would be back to working on the security system with the police department once more. This guy really cracked everything in this place.

 **"You're very specific in your steps."** Jongin exhaled the nervous breath he took. **"Excuse me, if I'm being redundant."**

IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE. MOST PEOPLE ARE AMAZED AT MY INTELLIGENCE IF I LET THEM LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO REALISE IT.

"You know we're coming for you. And I presume you're going to let us through." Taemin was sure that his office had no camera; hence the only thing recording them now was the laptop.

YOU'RE NOT BAD YOURSELF, YOUNG ONE. HERE I THOUGHT ANDROIDS ARE A LOSS CAUSE.

**"What do you want?"** Jongin asked ignoring the scoff spilling from Taemin's lips.

YOU.

BUT WAIT, YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT IN EXCHANGE, RIGHT?

WELL, MAYBE IF WE MEET FACE TO FACE, WE CAN TEST THE THEORY IF YOU TRULY ARE ONE OF THE BEST DETECTIVES.

All three of them stayed silent. Taemin noticed on his phone that his officers were going to take quite long to track the text. The guy had probably made himself invisible in the code after all that hacking.

SIMPLE.

I BELIEVE THAT WHAT YOU WANT IN EXCHANGE IS IN LINE WITH MY PLANS.

SEHUN AND JONGDAE.

Of course, it ground his gears when the names came up. Unlike Taemin, Jongin was beginning to tremble.

"Why? Building your empire isn't enough?" Taemin crossed his arms, his brain was alert to his officers' messages, but he doubted that it was discreet, knowing how this guy could hear everything he said.

OH, YOUNG ONE. I'M NOT HIM. DO NOT COMPARE ME WITH THAT WRETCHED EXISTENCE OF A MAN. I PITY HUMANITY KNOWING THE PATHETIC SCUM IS TAKING UP A SPOT IN THIS WORLD.

MY PLAN REQUIRES DETECTIVE KIM TO GET RID OF THE MOB BOSS YOU SO LOVE TO STALK ALL THIS TIME.

AFTER ALL, IT WAS YOUR FIRST MISSION AS DETECTIVE, CORRECT?

Jongin simply clutched his hands, remembering the time he failed to save a woman who got caught up in the whole mess because he was incompetent as a detective. He was so close to the mob boss he didn't even realize it. It was too late when the identity was revealed, and the gang managed to slip away from his grip every time until ten years ago, the police could no longer track the infamous gang. There were some slip-ups by the gang, of course, but the police always fail to get close. Jongin failed to get close.

"I don't believe that all you want is just Detective Kim and the head of the mob boss."

AH, IF IT ISN'T THE GREAT DOCTOR. I'M BOTH SURPRISED AND UNAMUSED THAT YOU CAN STAY ALIVE THIS LONG. SCARY HUMANS AND SENTIENT ANDROIDS HAVEN'T BURDENED YOU WITH EXISTENTIAL CRISIS AS IT DID WITH DETECTIVE YET. AND HE'S STILL QUITE YOUNG. YOU SEE, THIS ONE'S A COMPLIMENT, DETECTIVE.

Jongin could almost hear a distant laugh after that sentence.

AND TRUE. I WANT MORE, OF COURSE.

SEHUN STAYS OUT OF THIS MESS.

AND FOR YOUR INCENTIVE, DETECTIVE, JONGDAE GETS TO STAY OUT OF THIS MESS TOO.

**"Don't you dare hurt—"**

THAT I CANNOT GUARANTEE, DETECTIVE. I'M NOT THE BOSS AFTER ALL. ALL I COULD DO IS WATCH AND WAIT FOR THE TIME TO STRIKE. I MAYBE BE ABLE TO DELAY WHAT MAY POSSIBLY HAPPEN, BUT IF YOU WASTE TIME, DETECTIVE, WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM WILL BE YOUR FAULT.

The old detective tried not to grunt. 

Jongin hated that word. 

Finally, Taemin got word that they found the coordinates of the hacker.

AS I SAID, YOUNG ONE. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TRACKED ME DOWN. I'M RIGHT NEXT TO THEM NOW. BUT IF I DO THIS ...

Their eyes widened all the coordinates were gone. On Sehun, Jongdae, and him. All gone, but only for a moment when the codes appeared once more. He knew about the tracking devices, of course, he did. 

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE UP TO.

TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH AND TRUST ME, DETECTIVE.

WITH ALL YOUR DATA AND AUTHORIZATION, I COULD HAVE DESTROYED EVERY BIT OF WHAT YOU CALL LAW ENFORCEMENT A LONG TIME AGO IF I WANTED. 

"Partially true." Taemin barked back.

IF YOU GIVE ME YOUR WORD THAT ONLY DETECTIVE KIM IS IN WITH NO INTERFERENCE, I CAN GUARANTEE THAT YOUR POLICE DEPARTMENT DON'T CRUMBLE DOWN. IN FACT, I CAN ALSO BRING THE WHOLE GOVERNMENT INTO THIS, BUT YOU CHOOSE.

For Jongin, it wasn't difficult to answer, knowing his strategic capabilities, Jongin wouldn't try to mess with him. However, the fact that this hacker wanted Sehun and Jongdae safe like he did imply great resemblance. Did Jongin unintentionally create his own clone? It happened all the time in fiction. Inspirations. It could come from anywhere. To be something. To be _like_ something. But Jongin still couldn't figure out why this guy would be wanting the same thing as him.

**"I'll go."**

"Wait, we haven't talked about this," Taemin yanked his arm back.

**"What choice do we have? He hears everything, sees everything. He's probably got a hold of all cameras throughout the city if he's able to hack this much."**

SEE? LEARN FROM YOUR ELDERS, YOUNG ONE.

SO, DO WE HAVE A DEAL, DETECTIVE?

**"It's a deal."**

GOOD. 

IF I SEE ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS, WE ARE DONE. 

THE ENTIRE LAW ENFORCEMENT WILL BE NOTHING BUT ASH.

SO, BEHAVE YOURSELVES.

I'M SORRY TO HAVE TO KEEP YOU WAITING FOR A WHILE.

I WILL PROCEED WITH THE NEXT STEPS ONCE I'M DONE FINISHING UP SOME CHORES.

I LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING WITH YOU, DETECTIVE. I'M TRULY HONORED.

With a final firm nod, Jongin couldn't say anything but leaning in to close the laptop. 

▼

"Sehun-ah..." her whisper tickled his ears as he tried to hide behind her back. "It's alright. They're fireworks, see?"

Mother's hands came to pat his tiny arms. She didn't push him however, waiting for him to face the night sky on his own. His eyes immediately lighted up once the colors registered. It was pretty. He had never seen anything like this before.

"It's not so bad now, is it?" She draped her arms around, scooping him into her lap, letting him sit there. Sehun comfortably rested in her protective embrace. Safe. Home. This was it. "Right, kiddo?"

There was always a mischievous glint in her youthful eyes. She had always given him nicknames. That one stuck with her the most. Every time he heard it, it was as if rainbows lighting up the empty dark sky.

But he was too young when it had to happen. Sehun didn't even know what happened. It was this strange man showing up in the place of mother.

"Mother! Uh... mother?"

He was tall and demanding, eyes so cold, Sehun felt a shiver of terror down his spine. He was immaculate almost. The sharp jaws towering above as he stepped closer to him. The chocolate brown in his hair made it unclear whether he was just a normal person.

**"ɪ'ᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, _ᴋɪᴅᴅᴏ_. ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɪꜱ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ."**

Sehun opened his eyes and was met with those eyes that took everything away from him.

Jiki stood tall, arms crossed as always.

The force-field was up around his bed he realized. It was always this way. If he wasn't strapped to the bed, he'd be confined to only a small area.

Sehun remembered the times he was still allowed outside. Feeling the grass, the sun, nature, the real world. Up until Jiki showed up, it was peaceful. Father was kind and mother was still certainly alive and happy. Now, it was all fake. Everything except food and bathroom breaks, they were all fake. The grass, the sun, nature. The real world was taken away from him. He lived in a reality where he was controlled and closely monitored like a lab rat. For seven years.

It took so long for him to run away to feel something different, learning how there were good androids out there. Feeling real love. When Jongin carried him up the stairs, when Jongdae cleaned up his wounds. Sehun couldn't see most of it. His eyes were swollen purple. All he could feel was the tenderness of it all. He couldn't help it. He was never allowed to feel and be encouraged to. Jongin simply let him throw a tantrum but taught him to not go too far. Jongdae was too caring. Reminded him too much of mother.

But now, with the lovely words of mother used against him, Sehun was forced to bear with Jiki for another god know how long it would be.

**"ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴅɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀʏᴅʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴɢ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ᴋɪᴅᴅᴏ?"**

It was almost a day now. Jongdae was still there strapped to the wall with Aeho standing attentively next to him. However, Biho was missing. It was a habit. There were always at least two of them present in his room while the other was out. Perhaps going to sleep and enjoy life in the mansion. Ever since then, father only looked at the androids. He didn't care to raise his own real son.

" _You don't have to do this_ ," Jongdae spoke up. He always had something to say. As much as Sehun loved the way he said it, Sehun hated the fact that Jongdae was always bringing himself trouble. Why did he have to try to save him? At least, Sehun could deal with this alone, but Jongdae was so annoyingly nosy.

**_"Don't get yourself involved."_ **

**"ɪ'ᴍ ꜱɪᴍᴘʟʏ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ᴊᴏʙ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ ʜɪꜱ ᴘᴀᴛʜᴇᴛɪᴄ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ."**

Ignoring his words, Jiki sat in the corner of the room, changing the setting of his room to reflect the forest. It was beautiful, of course, but it was tainted by everything Jiki touched.

_"But this is too much. You're locking him away, confining him. Why can't you let him out?"_

**"ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴀɴ ᴀɴᴅʀᴏɪᴅ. ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ. ᴡʜʏ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ꜱᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴꜱ?"**

Jongdae's eyes were gentle, staring at Sehun from his far. It looked like he was strapped to a tree in his virtual reality. That android was too kind for his own good. It would take him nowhere.

_"It's not about androids or humans for me. I just want to take care of him."_

There was a pause in Jiki's line of questioning. A raised brow as the android found what Jongdae said intriguing. There was this strange light he had never seen in Jiki.

**"ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɪᴍᴘʟʏɪɴɢ ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛɪᴇ. ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴄᴀᴘᴀʙʟᴇ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴜᴄʜ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴ? ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ʜɪᴍ?"**

_"This is not the end. And I won't stop fighting until Sehun gets out safe."_

A dirty chuckle spilled from the android's lips.

**"ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ? ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʜɪᴍ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴜᴄʜ? ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪꜰ ɪ ᴛᴇʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴇʜᴜɴ ʜᴀᴛᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ? ʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴄʟᴀʀᴇꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴀɴᴅʀᴏɪᴅ ɪɴ ᴇxɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʜᴇ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴛᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄɪʀᴄᴜɪᴛʀʏ, ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛɪᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴜꜱᴇʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜɪᴍ?"**

There was a strange moment of recognition in Jongdae's eyes. It was obvious that Jongdae would hate him now. Even from the first moments they met, Sehun never gave Jongin or Jongdae a reason to care for him or love him. He was a brat who was too angry with everything to be worth saving.

**"ʜᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴅᴏ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ɪɴ ʜɪꜱ ᴘᴀᴛʜᴇᴛɪᴄ ᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴜꜱʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴡᴀʏ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ᴘᴏꜱꜱᴇꜱꜱᴇꜱ: ʟɪᴇꜱ. ʜᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛʀʏ ᴛᴏ ʜᴜʀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ. ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ɴᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴇꜱᴛʀᴏʏ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ. ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?"**

It was as if Jiki was challenging and encouraging to an extent Jongdae at this point to give up him.

_"It doesn't matter if Sehun hates me. It doesn't matter if he's a bad kid. I just want to save him and care for him. As long as he's safe, it's enough for me."_

**_Hyung..._ **

There was a brief pause in Jiki, his eyes slightly opened up more, his head tilted with a smile.

**"ɪꜰ ɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴇꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀᴋ, ɪꜰ ʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴇꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴇɴ? ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋᴇᴇᴘ ꜰᴏʀɢɪᴠɪɴɢ ʜɪᴍ? ᴇɴᴀʙʟɪɴɢ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʙᴜꜱᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʟɪᴇꜱ? ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴍɪᴛ, ᴀɴᴅʀᴏɪᴅ? ɪᴛ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀʟʟ ꜱᴜɴꜱʜɪɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴀɪɴʙᴏᴡꜱ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪᴛ ɪꜱ."**

_"Whatever you say won't make me give up on him."_ Jongdae bit back, voice sharper than all the times Sehun had ever heard him speak. _"I'll take care of him and help him get better. There's always a way."_

**_Why hyung? You'll only get yourself killed._ **

It was too much for him. All Sehun ever did to him was bring him pain. Was it even all true? Jongin had told him that the emotions were real to androids if they felt them, but weren't they still made of inorganic materials?

A chuckle this time. Jiki leaned back to rest his chin on the palm of his hand as he looked around the greenery around him.

**"ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ɪᴛ? ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴇᴍᴘᴛʏ ᴄʜᴀꜱᴍ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘʀᴏɢʀᴀᴍᴍɪɴɢ. ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴇʟʟꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʙᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ. ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ꜱʏɴᴛʜᴇᴛɪᴄ ʙᴇɪɴɢꜱ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴀʟʟ. ᴡᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʙᴇ ᴘᴇʀꜰᴇᴄᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴꜱ. ᴡᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴅɪꜱᴄᴀʀᴅᴇᴅ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴜʀᴘᴏꜱᴇ ɪꜱ ꜰᴜʟꜰɪʟʟᴇᴅ."**

_"Of course, we'll never be perfect, and neither will humans."_ Jongdae never faltered, his eyes were just as fierce as he stared back at Jiki. _"Humans struggle as we do with their purpose. We're all struggling with something. And we can always find another purpose. It will be difficult to lose it, but that's why we have to help each other, not destroy one another."_

**"ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴀɴᴅʀᴏɪᴅꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴꜱɪᴅᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴀꜱ ᴄɪᴛɪᴢᴇɴꜱ ɴᴏᴡ ᴅᴏᴇꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʟᴀᴠᴇʀʏ ɪꜱ ᴏᴠᴇʀ. ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀɴ ᴇɴᴅʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴄʏᴄʟᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴀɪɴ."**

_"It's still not an excuse to give up. My maker told me that love is the true purpose of life. It exists beyond human evolution and technological advancement. Every one of us just wants to love and be loved. And I know that it doesn't have to be that way. We can change. And like I said, no matter how much you try to persuade me, I will always care for Sehun even if I only know him for a short time."_

Now, Jiki was just smiling at Jongdae. Sehun wasn't sure if it was out of sarcasm or morbid curiosity, but either way, Jiki seemed unconvinced. 

**"ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴘᴏᴇᴛɪᴄ, ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛʜᴇᴀʀᴛ. ɪꜰ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇɴ'ᴛ ᴇɴᴇᴍɪᴇꜱ, ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴀʀᴛ ɪᴛꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱᴜᴄʜ ᴀ ꜰʀᴀᴍᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴍɪɴᴅ."**

Jiki stood up and looked at the time on his wrist. Of course, soon Aeho would be back, but Jongdae wasn't finished.

_"We're not enemies. You said you're replacing Sehun's mother, right?"_

That seemed to stop Jiki in his tracks, his back frozen. Even Aeho was slightly alarmed.

_"You don't have to hurt Sehun like this. I know you're just taking care of Sehun. It's in your name, Jiki-yah."_

It was then that Jiki glanced back at Jongdae. From this angle, Sehun couldn't tell what kind of look he gave him, but it didn't matter. Jongdae was delusional. It was clear that Jiki was a soulless android. There was no doubt about it.

_"Isn't it your purpose to—"_

**"ᴡɪꜱʜꜰᴜʟ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ."** Jiki had a different color in his voice that Sehun had never heard of. **"ɪ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴏꜰ, ᴀɴᴅʀᴏɪᴅ. ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ꜱᴜᴄʜ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴꜱ... ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ʀᴇɢɪꜱᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɴᴅʀᴏɪᴅ ᴘᴏᴘᴜʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ʟɪꜱᴛ, ɪ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ..."**

That finally snapped the strings Sehun was hanging on to.

**_"What are you doing? You can't do anything to him! He's not a part of this!"_ **

**"ᴜɴꜰᴏʀᴛᴜɴᴀᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ɪꜱ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇꜱᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ. ɪᴛ ɪꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍʏ ꜰᴀᴜʟᴛ ʜᴇ'ꜱ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ."**

**_"Not your fault? It's all your fucking fault that I'm in this mess! You killed my mother and now you want to kill him, too? Stop it, you fucking monster!"_ **

There was a pause before the door was knocked.

**"ᴶⁱᵏⁱ⁻ᵃʰ... ᶠᵃᵗʰᵉʳ ᶜᵃˡˡˢ."**

Biho peaked in shyly before stepping into the room, slightly startled by the forest theme. Jiki simply turned away and walked out of the room, no turning back.

**"ᴺᵒᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᵇᵃᵈ ʰᵃᵖᵖᵉⁿᵉᵈ, ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ?"**

Biho was always closest to Sehun. He remembered the small android always tried to make him laugh, but it was hard to laugh when he had to live like this.

Aeho simply reassured the smaller android.

**"𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕, 𝙺𝚒𝚖 𝙹𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚍𝚊𝚎-𝚜𝚑𝚒. 𝙸'𝚖 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚋𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚜𝚜."**

Of course, Aeho's politeness had always been a surprise to everyone. So obedient.

_"You two can change too, you know. I know it. Aeho, Biho. It all means protection. Don't you want to protect Sehun?"_

That drew a dry laugh of Sehun. **_"If protection is like this, then I don't want it."_**

**"𝙸 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚜."**

_"But don't you think this is too suffocating? I'm android, but I make my own decisions. I'm sure you can –"_

**"𝚆𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜. 𝙷𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛, 𝙹𝚒𝚔𝚒 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖. 𝚆𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚢 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚒𝚗 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚙."**

**_"It's all just an excuse."_** Sehun burst out. **_"I don't care. You're all trying to kill me slowly, keeping me imprisoned this way."_**

It was a lost cause, of course.

After a moment of silence, Jongdae spoke up.

_"You can change the background of this room, right?"_

**"𝙾𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎."**

_"Would you mind changing it to under the ocean?"_

Aeho simply nodded and walked toward the remote control area of the room, typing down all the details and applying the changes.

**"𝙰𝚗 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚞𝚊𝚕."**

Jongdae simply sighed and looked around in the deep blue ocean. Even at a time like this, he still had the heart to admire the colors of the ocean. The strange creatures. Going so far to request more marine plants to decorate the room. Aeho was never one to refuse. Biho, on the other hand, joined in the fun, seemingly being taken by the wonders of the water.

 ** _"Why?"_** Sehun whispered, taking all the attention from the ocean. **_"Why do you insist on taking care of me? You're hopeless like this, and you're still thinking of me?"_**

 _"Of course, I've seen what love could do, Sehun. It could take away our lives and hope, but I believe in looking at it from a better point of view. It could save us."_ Jongdae fondly smiled, his eyes looked around at the marine creatures swimming by in the virtual space of that was his room _. "Jongin showed me. And I see it. These kids that he looked after... they're living freely now because of his love. He's spent his whole life loving unconditionally, and when I woke up staring at his eyes wide open so relieved to see me, I knew that he, too, needed love himself."_

Jongin. The old detective who offered him the place to stay. Just thinking of him had Sehun's heart in a grip. He only knew that man for a few days, but it felt like it could have been forever. Like he was family, but...

 _"He's still doubtful, however. He loves so carelessly that when I try to love him, he thinks he doesn't deserve it."_ Jongdae closed his eyes as if to imagine. _"I can tell he's asking for permission, acceptance... But he couldn't say it. For such a head-strong detective, he was such a softie at heart."_

**"ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᵃ ˢᵗʳᵃⁿᵍᵉ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵃᵈⁱᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ. ᴴᵉ ˡᵒᵛᵉˢ ᵗᵒ ˡᵒᵛᵉ, ᵇᵘᵗ ʰᵉ ᵈᵒᵉˢⁿ'ᵗ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ?"**

**"𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚒𝚝. 𝙷𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚝. 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑 𝚒𝚝. 𝙸𝚝** **𝚒** **𝚜 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝."**

Aeho came to Biho who was trembling slightly. It was hard to believe that these androids bare emotions, but seeing how Jongdae reacted this way ... it confused him. He had always thought everything was fake as long as it was synthetic.

**"𝙵𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚗. 𝙸𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚍."**

Sehun wanted to cry at that statement, screaming what about him. However, he couldn't. It was rare, but Sehun felt terrible. Terrible that Jongdae was distressed.

_"I just want him to believe it. And I want you to believe it too."_

It was impossible. It couldn't-

_"You deserve to be loved, Sehun-ah. I'll make sure you believe it."_

🌃

It was a quiet time in the office.

Although he was now back in the mission, he was still not an active detective. In the midst of trembling fingers and uneven breaths, he realized that he was part of something that he was let off once more. All this time, he had been goading over losing the purpose he had once before. Now, it came to him full swing that it was no longer the detective status he was reeling himself over.

Talking to Sehun made it possible for him to look further out and losing Jongdae certainly made it crystal clear what his true feelings were.

Somewhere in there. The rational part of him knew that feelings would get in the way of the mission. And looking back to all the kids he loved, Jongin never really fully accepted that it was a liability to his status as a police officer or detective. They had never gotten him in trouble. To him, they were just passing by. They weren't staying with him forever. 

Every time Jongin had messed up, Jongin took the fall. That was the best part of it, really. Well, it used to be the best. 

He told himself he had no stake in anything. Each time a bullet fired, it was his body that took the damage. All the pain he accepted gladly. He didn't want his fellow human or android companion to get hurt. He knew no one would bat an eye if anything happened. He was alone. No one who loved him. No one he could truly look after. Each time he stepped into his apartment, it was silent. No matter how colorful his surroundings were or how loud he turned up the music, it was still silent.

For the first time, with the faint whisper of phantom pain, he felt his heart drummed louder than ever.

This time, it was no longer silent.

This time, he got Jongdae. 

**This time I won't let you go.**

🌃

Taemin was furiously looking through everything, using all the sign language in his arsenal to communicate with his officers.

It made Jongin wonder if the hacker man could actually hack everything as Minseok had said. It was too good to be true. And he didn't even have to tell Taemin.

The younger detective made a sign, his eyes stayed open, not blinking.

He watched as the younger settled everything with his lower in command.

It felt not too long ago when he trained Taemin himself. The kid started off so rough, seeing force in every answer. Jongin had to beat the crazy out of him to get Taemin to the right start. Of course, that meant taking the heat himself as well.

He remembered the many questions Taemin asked that he answered ever so horribly and wisely all at once.

"Why can't they just find another purpose?" It had been another suicide that week. Taemin tagged along on his mission under his supervision.

Jongin stared at the floating body washed up on the river bank. It was a young man, perhaps in his mid-twenties. The body was pale and bloaty. Jongin was afraid to touch the fragile flesh soaked in the water that long.

**"If I were to download your data and put you in another body, how would you feel?"**

As the body was being removed from the scene, the two stayed and looked around.

 **"If the body looked completely different from your original body... your face, your name, your status... your outer would be different."** Jongin walked until they were under the bridge, boots digging into the soft dirt **. "You would know that the you as the consciousness was still you, but your body... the outer would be different. Could you handle it?"**

"Well, it'd be trippy." He could tell the younger was boring holes into the back of his head. "Man, at that point, it's gonna be tough. You're practically someone else."

**"For humans, it's the opposite. With time comes change, and with change comes adjustments. Their outer would be mostly the same, but their inner is different."**

The wind was calmer as the sun set, painting the sky golden almond and dark purple.

 **"For some unfortunate souls, it's a strange conundrum that the more they know, the less they feel."** Jongin turned to Taemin. He didn't know what expression he had, but it made the younger shiver. **"Whether it's voluntary or forced... if they can't deal with the change... they give up."**

Taemin was quiet, unlike his usual self.

**"Tell me, Taemin-shi. If I were to take away your purpose to become a detective and ban you from joining the academy, where would you go?"**

"I can just do something else like being a doctor—"

**"But how long could you pretend to be okay with being a doctor for?"**

The younger just blinked, opened his lips but unable to produce another sound.

**"You must be thinking that not all would kill themselves over a job, and you're right. Sometimes, it's relationships, bad investments... and yes, there are people who are head-strong enough to do other things, but that takes time. Years and years of resentment and rage and perhaps something new comes along, and they move on. Even so, with this new purpose they have chosen, there would still be traces of pain and unresolved anger."**

Jongin watched as a ferry sailed under the bridge, spotting people cheering and having a good time.

**"But not all get to move on."**

The old detective's eyes were stuck at where the water met the river bank.

 **"Some are closer to the edge than others, and if we're not there fast enough, they fall."** Jongin leaned down, his fingers traced the wet dirt and let the soft ripple of the water climbed up the bank and soaked his boots. **"And to save a man who doesn't want to be saved from falling..."**

The old detective couldn't finish the sentence, however, and walked back to his car as the younger followed closely in silence.

But now wasn't the time to think of the past.

"I don't think he could really access everything we have, but we still have to be cautious. Detective Kim, I'll brief you once we're secured."

It seemed like the younger detective caught up on the trick just as Jongin did. The kid came a long way indeed.

"Don't worry. I didn't throw you a retirement party to later have you spend your time like this. Kim Jongdae will be safe. I guarantee you. And Sehun, too." The younger looped his arm around his shoulders and smiled brightly at him. "Although I must say, you taking in kids is actually bearing fruits. I don't think we could've ever found the location of the mob boss if you didn't bring Sehun in."

Jongin kept quiet in his seat as Taemin plopped down on his office chair opposite him.

"It's always been hard hearing rumors about you. I try to quiet them down, but like you taught me, there's always haters around."

He didn't remember actually phrasing it that way, but Jongin didn't say anything to reject the claim.

"I know I shouldn't let my _emotions_ get to the mission, but my god, if Jerry says another thing about you being a pedo, I'll strangle him myself."

Jongin smiled at the little strangle motion Taemin had. There was something reminiscent of Jongdae in Taemin. That burst of bright energy.

**"Why do you keep calling me detective anyway?"**

He had retired after all.

It was Taemin that smiled at him this time. 

"Strangely, you still act like you're on a mission. I mean not right now but before all this happened. Plus, you didn't correct me, so I thought it was okay."

Jongin stilled.

"Just a vibe really, but I can drop the 'detective' if you want, Jongin... sunbae?" The young detective let a soft chuckle. "It's cute... though I have to change my two-decade habit of calling you Detective Kim."

That moment Jongin realized that he still thought of himself as a detective. A retired detective was what he should remind himself. 

It was Taemin's mission.

It wasn't his.

At this moment, Jongin was just a man who wanted to save the man he loved and the kid he adored. 

🌃

YOU BROUGHT MORE PEOPLE THAN PROMISED.

"Look, buddy. You said it's going to be crazy to get in, but we have to make sure we can get out." Taemin shouldn't be sounding like a whining child begging for a new toy, but Jongin couldn't really question his methods either. "It seems to me that you forgot to plan the way out of the damn place. If all of you come out dead, what's the point? I promise it's just reinforcements, and we'll only go under your command."

There was silence from the other side. Taemin's laptop was blank for quite a while, making everyone by the detective sweat bullets.

FINE.

A huge relief. It turned out that the hacker was more than willing to cooperate. Something playful about him that threw Jongin off. Everyone there was sure that he was going to abort the mission.

They were on the way to the mansion. The hacker had given them a detailed map of the mansion for Jongin to maneuver himself into the place. However, because of the insane security, there would be a timer in breaking in as the hacker would attempt to shut everything down for around 8 minutes, which would be an extreme feat to pull off.

I HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE MANY TIMES. A FEW TIMES IN YEARLY. JUST TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A 'RIVAL' GANG WAS TRYING TO BREAK DOWN THE SECURITY.

"You really planned everything, huh? Well, why now? If you're such a skilled hacker, you would have done everything easily." Taemin wanted to add more. Why Jongin? Jongdae? This day of the month?

Something about him that made Jongin wonder if he truly was trying to trap him along with the victims or actually helping him.

THEORATICALLY. YES. I COULD HAVE, BUT SEHUN IS THE PROBLEM. IT WOULD BE EASY TO TAKE DOWN THE MOB BOSS ALONE, BUT PROTECTING SEHUN AT THE SAME TIME? I SIMPLY CANNOT RISK IT.

AND I'VE BEEN MONITORING THE MOB BOSS'S SCHEDULE AND PLANNED THIS ACCORDINGLY. HE ONLY COMES TO THIS PLACE ONCE OR TWICE A MONTH. TONIGHT HE LANDS IN BUSAN.

Taemin and Jongin shared a look, but that was it. It was quite clear whoever it was behind this, however dubious he seemed, did care greatly about the kid. That was something that Jongin could at least get behind.

ALRIGHT. STOP. I CAN SEE YOU IN THE RADAR NOW.

They were close.

With the all-black uniform that the hacker sent him, Jongin stepped out of the van. The night was gloomy and cloudy, perfect for disguise with no moonlight spotlight him. The blood pumping now loud in his ears, but the voice in his earpiece was louder.

REMEMBER. DON'T BE SEEN BY ANY HUMANS. THEY'LL RECOGNISE YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THE ANDROIDS IMMEDIATELY. AVOID EYE CONTACT. THE DISGUISE COULD ONLY DO SO MUCH.

The hacker had all control over all the androids in the mansion; hence, sneaking past one would be easy as they would be programmed to protect him, and guide him safely to the designated room where Sehun would be.

Jongin questioned, of course, with the androids, why would he not operate on his own?

THERE ARE ONLY 9 ANDROIDS I'M ALLOWED TO POSSESS. THE SEVEN YOU BRIEFLY SAW BEFORE THE KIDNAPPING WAS ALL I COULD DO FOR THIS PLAN TO WORK.

Granted Jongin had to do a huge amount of leg work to get himself closer to the mansion as they were treading on the mansion parameter.

Only, closer did Jongin realized something about the gigantic structure and its magnificence. He had been in this place before except he knew that it couldn't possibly be the same place where the one woman he failed to save during his first mission on tracking down the mob boss. The house was torn down, and it was said to be abandoned. In the map, it was just a grass area, disguising itself from the satellite.

His back closing in on part of the long green bush, his feet ever so light.

ALL THE CAMERAS AND MOTION TRACKERS ARE LOOPING NOW. DON'T WORRY ABOUT TOP CORNERS. JUST STAY AWAY FROM HUMANS.

But that would prove to be difficult as the androids were all in the mansion in the specific entrance. Going up west would be best. One of the androids was around the back entrance to the mansion.

As Jongin listened to the hacker guiding him up the wall and avoiding the human guards, he recognized something familiar in that voice, but he just couldn't put a finger on it. The voice was slightly distorted and digitalized through the call.

 **"I'm at the entrance,"** he whispered, hiding in the shadow nearby the wooden door at the back of the mansion.

STANDBY. I'M SHUTTING THE PLACE DOWN. AGAIN, WHATEVER HAPPENS, DON'T BE ALARMED.

**"Copy."**

It was so sudden that even Jongin could feel it rumble beneath the earth. He didn't notice the engine rumbling throughout the night until the abrupt silence washed over his nervous features. He couldn't mess this up. He waited this long for Jongdae to appear. He couldn't risk that now.

GO.

With a final look around the vast empty grass area, he must risk running out of the shadow and towards the door. He could hear now the buzzing of the radios distant from his position. The human guards were on high alert as the power went down.

Each step he took sent shivers down his spine. He hadn't done a one-man mission for so long. The last five years was Jongin finishing up all his reports, his paperwork, and a few interrogation sessions he had to conduct, but other than that, he had no mission. It had been grueling, of course, realizing that he could only serve the law enforcement for so long before being forced to retire. It was his old friend's idea, of course.

𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧-𝐚𝐡.

Jongin wasn't sure if Yixing giving him the extra five years out of pity for his emotional state or necessity for the law enforcement, but whichever it was, Jongin owed it to Yixing. For four decades, the old friend brought him up in a place so strange, helping him grow up, get a life, and get the job he had always wanted. Yixing was long gone, leaving him with a final mission: Jongdae. To Yixing, it must be a mission for Jongin, but for Jongin, it was written in the stars. Only realizing that now only made it throbbing for Jongin's heart to handle. He should've just welcome Jongdae in right away. Perhaps it was the decades of working and seeing humanity at its worse for so long blurred his visions.

Now, he was at the door, pushing in. He wouldn't hesitate any longer.

"Wait, stay still."

The hand brought him in so quick Jongin couldn't help letting out a soft gasp. Here he was standing side by side with the female android that pushed him out of the building. Now that Jongin thought about it. It was strangely effective in getting rid of enemies.

YOU KNOW WHERE I AM, DETECTIVE.

Jongin was still quite shaken that he had to wear black attire. It looked military-like; however, it didn't feel practical with all the extra pockets and stylish accessories. The soft fabric on his skin sliding against his muscles, the way the shirt rode up the expansion of his waist, showing skin whenever he lifted his arms a little higher, the rips in his jeans. It made him shudder thinking about what the androids were actually here for. If there were only 9 of them and not enough for security maintenance...

"Right now, everyone is alarmed, so you just keep moving. Don't look at the humans' eyes." with her up close, Jongin could see the makeup on her face, the elegant hairdo she had, the stylish black attire she adorned. Even the way she held on to his arm, holding him close. It wasn't just a simple hold. There was no harsh force behind the grip, just enough to keep him closer, and the way her palm wrapped around his biceps so... gently.

Jongin closed his eyes, not wanting to think about what went on in this house. He just hoped that Jongdae wouldn't get caught up in it.

With a final push, Jongin was on his way up the mansion to the floor where the hacker would be. 

As smart as humans were, Jongin knew that it was just as easy to deceive them. All he had to do was walk straight with confidence as he belonged in the place. He couldn't see much of the interior, of course, with all the lights out. And with all the commotion, it was easy blending in.

Before long, he was knocking on the huge wooden door on the third floor with a rhythm that only the hacker would know.

For the second time, Jongin was dragged into the room. He couldn't see with all the darkness looming, but he could feel the presence of at least five people.

 **"** **𝙱𝚒𝚑𝚘** **,** **𝚠𝚎** **𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚝** **𝚋𝚎** **𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕** **."**

Just like that, the lights came back on. 

With silent awe and shock, he scanned the room, spotting the familiar faces.

**"ᵂᵃʰ~~ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ʰᵃⁿᵈˢᵒᵐᵉ ⁱⁿ ʳᵉᵃˡ ˡⁱᶠᵉ."**

Then, Jongin turned around to a hardened battlefield expression that made his heart wrenched.

**"ɴᴏ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴇxᴘʟᴀɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ꜱᴏᴏɴ."**

🌃

Jongin was swift. Although the moment was very much still a shock to him, Jongin was sane enough to drag himself to where the man he came here for. The kitten lips parted slightly as he seemed to doze off, hands strapped quite comfortably to the wall. There was soft cloth on the inside of the leather strip. His heart went forth before his mind and traced gently on the man’s cheeks.

 ** **"ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ. ɪ ꜱʜᴜᴛ ʜɪᴍ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴏʀᴀʀɪʟʏ."**** The android must have sensed the heart of the question before Jongin got to ask. ****"ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴀꜰᴇʟʏ."****

Unknowingly, he wandered towards his lips. Jongin wondered with this much pain he had put Jongdae through and if Jongdae would still look him in the eye and tell him the same words he always tried to convince him.

Shaking away his fragile thoughts, Jongin turned back to the determined android baring the face of Sehun.

“ ** **ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ꜱᴄᴀɴɴɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʀᴇᴀ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴏʀᴏᴜɢʜ. ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴛʜᴇʏ’ʀᴇ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ɪᴛ’ꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪᴠᴀʟ ɢᴀɴɢ. ᴀ ʜᴀʀᴍʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴏᴜᴛʟᴇᴛ. ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ɪꜱɴ’ᴛ ᴀʟᴀʀᴍᴇᴅ. ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ɪꜱ ᴛᴏ ʙʟᴇɴᴅ ɪɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴀɴᴅʀᴏɪᴅꜱ****.”

He held a presence Jongin was slightly intimidated by. Tall and proud with such a strange dangerous appeal with all the yellow leather he was adorned with. A deeper and clearer voice with no lisp. A frightening gaze on such seemingly uninterested eyes.

“ ** **ᴡᴇ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴇꜱᴄᴏʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ'ꜱ ʀᴏᴏᴍ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜᴇ ᴀʀʀɪᴠᴇꜱ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜱᴛᴀʏ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴜᴘᴘᴏꜱᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ. ʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴡᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀꜱᴋ. ɪᴛ'ꜱ ꜰᴀꜱʜɪᴏɴ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɴᴅʀᴏɪᴅꜱ. ɪᴛ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴛᴏᴏ ꜱᴜꜱᴘɪᴄɪᴏᴜꜱ****.”

 ** **"ᴶⁱᵏⁱ⁻ʸᵃʰ~ ᴬᶠᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰⁱˢ, ʷᵉ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵖˡᵃʸ ʷⁱᵗʰ ˢᵉʰᵘⁿ ᵃᵍᵃⁱⁿ, ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ?"**** It was the cheerful smaller android that jumped towards the one called Jiki who was still checking Sehun’s vitals on the bed.

" ** **ᴡʜʏ ᴅɪᴅ ɪ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴀɴɴᴏʏɪɴɢ?"****

For a split second, the hardened brows softened before Jiki met Jongin’s gaze with a battle-fervent look again. 

****“ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ ᴅᴇᴛᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ɪꜱ ᴄᴏʀʀᴇᴄᴛ. ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʀᴇɪɴꜰᴏʀᴄᴇᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ɴᴏᴡ, ᴡᴇ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ɪɴꜱɪᴅᴇ ᴏɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ. ꜱᴇʜᴜɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴏɴɢᴅᴀᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ. ꜱᴇʜᴜɴ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʜᴇ _'ʀᴀɴ ᴀᴡᴀʏ'_ , ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴏɴɢᴅᴀᴇ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ... ᴡᴇʟʟ, ʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ.” ** **

The word must have irked him greatly that Jiki added to somewhat try to reassure Jongin with quite a light-hearted chuckle. 

“ ** **ꜱᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴᴛꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ꜰᴀᴄᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ. ɪ ɢᴜᴀʀᴀɴᴛᴇᴇ ᴊᴏɴɢᴅᴀᴇ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜᴇᴅ ᴀꜱ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀꜱ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ꜱᴇʜᴜɴ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ɪɴᴠᴏʟᴠᴇᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴀʟʟ ᴏᴠᴇʀ.**** ”

Jongin simply nodded. This had been settled before they got here, but hearing the android confirming it again did help him breathe a little easier. Barely. They still had a long way to go.

Soon, they were setting up. It was Jiki who was going to get close and personal with the mob boss and end it all while Jongin would be focusing on both the offensive and defensive to protect Sehun and Jongdae. All the androids would turn and fight with Jongin immediately on Jiki’s command. Jongin and his androids had to make sure the humans didn’t touch the two. Jiki informed him that the camera feed would be bugged and remained unchanged the moment they start making a move, so no one outside would interfere at least for a little while. They had to be swift before the outside pick up what was wrong. The androids Jiki deployed outside wouldn’t be much.

It caught Jiki off guard when Biho gripped at the hem of his bright yellow leather jacket as he stood up ready to approach Jongin.

****"ᴬᶠᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰⁱˢ, ʷᵉ'ˡˡ ᵖˡᵃʸ ʷⁱᵗʰ ˢᵉʰᵘⁿ, ᵃⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘ'ˡˡ ʲᵒⁱⁿ ᵘˢ, ᵗᵒᵒ, ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ?"** **

Jongin usually saw it on humans.

****"ᵂᵉ ᶜᵃⁿ ᶠⁱⁿᵃˡˡʸ ᵍᵒ ᵇᵃᶜᵏ ᵗᵒ ʷʰᵃᵗ ʷᵉ ʰᵃᵈ ᵇᵉᶠᵒʳᵉ, ʳⁱᵍʰᵗ?"** **

The stare on Jiki’s face was spiteful not because he had the grim look of an older version of Sehun, but it was something behind those eyes that Jongin became quite familiar with for the past decades working as a detective.

 ** **"ʟᴏᴏᴋ, ᴀᴇʜᴏ, ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ."**** A deep sigh and Jiki sat back down with the slightly older looking Sehun android and the youthful Sehun android on both his sides, his palms seemingly pressed gently on their temples. ****"ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ɪꜱ ɢɪᴠɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ꜱᴇɴᴛɪᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ʙᴏᴜɴᴅ ʙʏ ᴍʏ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀꜱ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ, ꜱᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ꜱᴇʜᴜɴ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ. ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀɴɴᴏʏɪɴɢ ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ."****

 ** **"**** ** **𝚆𝚎**** ** **𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎**** ** **𝚝𝚘**** ** **𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛**** ** **𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚜**** ** **?**** ** **𝙸𝚜**** ** **𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝**** ** **𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛**** ** **𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛**** ** **?"**** Aeho asked blatantly that it drew a small chuckle out of Jiki.

****"ɪ ꜱᴜᴘᴘᴏꜱᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴄᴀᴜɢʜᴛ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀʀᴄᴀꜱᴍ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ."** **

****"**** ** **𝙸𝚝**** ** **𝚒𝚜** ** ****𝚌𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕**** ** **𝚒𝚗**** ** **𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐**** ** **,**** ** **𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢**** ** **𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑**** ** **𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚜**** ** **𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑**** ** **𝙸**** ** **𝚌𝚊𝚗**** ** **𝚜𝚎𝚎**** ** **𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝**** ** **𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗**** ** **𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚒𝚍𝚜**** ** **𝚊𝚛𝚎**** ** **𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎**** ** **𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗**** ** **𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎** ** ****."** **

****"ɴᴏᴛ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜱᴏ ɪꜰ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʟᴏɴɢ."** **

Jongin could see Jiki started to hold on to them closer, fingers digging into their foreheads, Jongin could feel the change in the room.

****"ᴡᴀɪᴛ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴇxᴄɪᴛᴇᴅ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʏᴇᴛ. ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴏᴛʜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ꜰɪɴᴀʟ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴍᴇ. ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ʜᴜʀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ꜱᴇʜᴜɴ."** **

****"**** ** **𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝**** ** **𝚒𝚜**** ** **𝚗𝚘𝚝**** ** **𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎**** ** **.**** ** **𝚂𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜**** ** **,**** ** **𝚠𝚎**** ** **𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕**** ** **𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎**** ** **𝚝𝚘**** ** **𝚐𝚎𝚝**** ** **𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝**** ** **𝚝𝚘**** ** **𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝**** **𝚂𝚎𝚑𝚞𝚗. 𝚁𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚞𝚜 𝚊 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎."**

****"ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ, ɪ'ᴍ ʀᴇɢʀᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪꜱ. ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʙɪʜᴏ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴀɴɴᴏʏɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱᴇɴᴛɪᴇɴᴄᴇ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɢᴜᴇꜱꜱ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇᴛᴇᴅ ʀᴇʙᴇʟ, ʜᴜʜ?"** **

Once more when Jiki tried to move away, it was Biho. He wasn’t as cheerful this time, staring up at the older looking android expectantly.

****"ᵂʰʸ ᵃʳᵉⁿ'ᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃⁿˢʷᵉʳⁱⁿᵍ ᵐʸ qᵘᵉˢᵗⁱᵒⁿˢ? ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ʰⁱᵈⁱⁿᵍ?"** **

Jongin knew exactly what Jiki was hiding.

Jiki stayed silent for a few seconds before letting out a groan.

****"ʟᴏᴏᴋ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴇʀ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ? ꜰɪɴᴇ. ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟᴠᴇꜱ ᴋɪʟʟᴇᴅ ᴏʀ ᴅᴇʟᴇᴛᴇᴅ. ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ꜱᴇʜᴜɴ, ᴘʀᴏᴛᴇᴄᴛ ʜɪᴍ."** **

Jongin knew what it looked like. Jiki’s expression. What it meant.

At one point, after many of Yixing’s lectures, Jongin realized Jongdae, too, may have had this look long ago. Jongin could sense the passive aggressiveness all the time working around the old friend. The most blatant one was Yixing going up close to Jongin’s face when he failed one of the shooting practice.

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐞. 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧. 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐩.

But Jongin had to focus on the rescue at hand.

Jiki then turned back to Jongin, fingers coming up to press his earpiece, seemingly configuring something by only touching it.

****

****ᴄᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴍᴇ, ᴅᴇᴛᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ?** **

Jongin blinked.

So, now they were communicating through signals just like that. Jiki was certainly one of a kind. And Jongin had come across _many._

****

****ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴀʏ, ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜᴘᴘᴇʀ ʜᴀɴᴅ. ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀꜱᴛ, ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ ᴅᴇᴛᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴀʀʀɪᴠᴇꜱ.** **

Jongin nodded.

****ᴇᴠᴇɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪɴᴅ ꜱᴘᴀᴄᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀꜱ Qᴜɪᴇᴛ ᴀꜱ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ.** **

****

Jongin tilted his head, realizing that Jiki must have been observing him for a very long time.

Jiki merely chuckled and shook his head.

Soon, they were moving with Sehun and Jongdae on their side, leaving the two androids in Sehun’s room. There was a fondness in Jiki’s eyes whenever the two androids and Sehun came up in the conversation. It was subtle, but Jongin had been a detective for a very long time. He knew it the moment he saw Jiki.

Then, they were making their way to the father’s room. There were androids and humans inside, but the father wasn’t there. Jiki had a breath and turned to Jongin, eyes weary.

****ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ'ꜱ ᴜᴘ. ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏᴄᴜꜱ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ.** **

“Well, well, if it isn’t the bitch android. You got two extra pretty playthings, huh?” One of the humans chuckled. He must be a right-hand man to the father with such a loose attitude while everyone else was ridged and respected their post.

 ** **“ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴇɪᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴀʏ.”**** Jiki spat out. It seemed like this was normal happenings in this mansion. ****"ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀ?"****

“Your precious daddy thinks you’re up to something, _Sehun-ah_.” The human smirked, hands gripping the gun he was holding.

It was one of those rare times that Jongin did not want to know what went on behind closed doors. However, no matter how hard he tried to stay ignorant, he still knew.

****ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏᴜʀꜱᴇ, ᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ'ꜱ ʙʟᴏᴡɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏ ꜱᴛʀᴇꜱꜱ. ɢᴇᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ, ᴅᴇᴛᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ.** **

In a flash, the room was red instead of white and pristine. Jiki was fast with his androids in the room, killing all the humans. With a satiated breath he exhaled, Jiki got to blow the human’s brains out. Something that Jiki had always wanted to do for a long time it appeared.

Jongin didn’t want to witness whatever was happening, keeping his eyes out for Jongdae and Sehun in a corner, shooting at enemies’ vital points to kill, unlike Jiki and the other androids shooting to draw out their deaths. Jongin didn’t question it. He didn’t have to. It wasn't the first time androids were exploited. It wasn’t the first time androids tried to fight back.

Then, the father in question was at the door with his other men.

Jongin watched the confrontation in horror. So much blood. Most of it red. The androids were winning, but there were only a few of them compared to humans.

Soon, Jiki was down, bleeding blue by the father’s bullet.

Before the father could laugh in mockery, Jiki was already shooting back with his final move.

It was a river of red in the room. Blue was only a fraction.

The father was the last breathing as Jiki tried to stand on his good leg, hands trembling from the anticipation. Jiki sat down by the father who was still trying to crawl away despite the bullets in his legs. The gun pointed at the father’s crotch.

****“ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ꜱɪɴɢʟᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇᴍ, ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙɪᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴏᴄᴋ ᴏꜰꜰ...”** **

Jongin knew when to look away. The anger and the pain were so powerful in Jiki’s voice Jongin could feel it through the signals. Jongin kept his eyes trained on Jongdae’s and Sehun’s unconscious figures in the corner.

****"ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴠɪʟᴇ ᴄᴏᴄᴋ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱ... ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ɪᴛ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ, ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀ."** **

Each shot pierced through Jongin’s ears. Jongin didn’t count how many, but he knew it was enough to wake Sehun.

****_“Hyung?”_ ** **

****“Don’t look.”** **

But Sehun already saw.

So much blood.

Androids obsessively grinding their heels into the humans’ skulls because there was nothing more they could do.

And then there was Jiki, shooting all the bullets he had into all whatever flesh the father had. It didn’t matter if he was no longer breathing.

 ** **“Sehun, listen to me,”**** Jongin had to shake the younger out of his shock. It was too much. ****“Sehun, you keep… an eye on Jongdae, alright?”****

And Sehun saw it, the fluid seeping out of Jongin’s body.

 _ ** **“Hyung…”****_ The younger was already tearing up.

 ** **“Just… Trust me. Everything will be alright. Listen to Jongdae, Aeho and Biho, alright?”**** Jonginwas finally feeling weaker after the standoff, finally noticing the damage on his own body. ****“Promise me you’ll be by Jongdae’s side while I’m away.”****

****_“Yes… Hyung.”_ ** **

It was inevitable.

It was Jongin’s time.

The old detective looked back to the precious face of his one and only.

Jongin reached out to hold his smaller hand, memorizing every part of Jongdae, knowing that he would need it for the journey ahead.

He couldn’t forget Jongdae. He must always be there for him. No matter what happened from now on. Yixing had spent so long training him, perfecting him.

Jongin couldn’t let Jongdae be in any more pain.

****ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀɴ ʜᴏɴᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴅᴇᴛᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ.** **

Jiki was already beside him, hand burning at Jongin’s chest. And for the first time in a long time, Jongin truly felt his flesh lighting up with pain, with _something he could feel,_ besides the tender sensation of Jongdae’s fingertips dancing on his skin.

****ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀᴅ, ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛʀᴜꜱᴛ.** **

Jongin could hear Sehun’s scream, but he felt Jiki’s hand more on his flesh, heard Jiki’s voice clear in his ears.

Jongin smiled at Jiki, accepting.

Jiki, too, smiled back at him although there was something else behind those tired eyes of his, and Jongin knew what those eyes were seeing.

And for the first time in a really long time, Jongin watched the blue blood spilling from his own body with a somber smile, accepting.

And then, everything went dark.

It was as peaceful as Jongin expected it to be. 

🌃 19XX 🌃

Their hands intertwined. For how long, he wasn't sure. The tight grip was drawing red into the soft flesh. He didn't want to hurt the smaller boy, but he couldn't help it.

As the stars twinkled upon the dark blue sky, he wondered if the two of them could ever shine as bright as they unabashedly lighted up the whole universe. He knew that those mischievous eyes could, but for how long?

The kitten smile made his heart beat so hard it hurt. It knocked all the air out of his lungs with so much force it hurt. Every time he was with him, it hurt. Everything hurt. It hurt because those curly locks were beautiful. That dark raven hair was luscious. Alive. Soft as he ran his fingers through. The small eye smile. The wide kitten grin... everything hurt because everything about him was so beautiful.

Underneath the moonlight, oh, so bright the moonlight, and he looked so enthralling. Those thin lips he wanted so much to kiss away all the doubts and pain. And so he leaned in, wanting to get a taste of those kitten lips.

It was just flesh against flesh, he was aware of that, but his heart was beating and beating and beating and it was so loud in his ears, screaming how much he craved this man next to him.

 _"I should go..."_ there was the sadness again. He hated it. He hated seeing the smaller look like this. _"My dad just texted me."_

All he could do to reply was a nod.

_"Goodnight..."_

Even as the smaller boy stood up, he just stayed firm on the wooden bench.

A gentle peck on his forehead and they let go. They had to.

His feet couldn't move. His feet shouldn't move because if they were allowed to wiggle even an inch, he would start running to him.

As the small figure moved slowly into the darkness, away from him, he felt the warm tears drawing his cheeks with pain.

**What do I do if I lose you?**

This life he lived was never worth it. He knew it for sure. So sure. But then that pretty boy had to show up and ruin his plans to run away.

His hands came to his head, fingers crushing his own skull, eyes bulging out of their sockets as more tears spilled down onto the cheap fabric of his black pants.

**"Oh... god... what would I do without you?"**

He had to make a choice.

The father found out. And there were just insults upon insults upon insults. The things the old man said to him. The things he said about his own son.

He had to make a choice. He didn't want to hurt the pretty kitten smile, but he had to leave. And it hurt. It hurt every second. Ever since he fell in love until this point, it always hurt, yet he persisted because he was worth the hurt. As much hurt as he felt, there was love.

Bliss. It was so blissful. And he couldn't stop thinking about it. Colors were everywhere. Everything was brighter. He could feel it, the world in its most elegant form. Every time he opened his eyes in the morning, he felt alive. He wanted to wake up. He knew that since the moment he fell, he could only breath when he saw that kitten smile. A new purpose. A purpose. An only purpose. And now he had to give him up.

He was prepared for it, he thought. From the start, he knew this day would come and he was ready to be hurt, he thought. But no. Oh, how wrong he was.

His knees dropped against the pavement. It was blurry, but now it was the sidewalk that was getting soaked in his tears. His silent scream tore his throat apart. All the air he held against the vocal cord he wanted to let out but unable to dug deep into his airways. The longer he held onto it, the lighter his head felt, the sharper the air got.

_"Hey, you alright?"_

A small whisper from his left. He was back in the locker room the next day. That gentle gaze kept his body floating on drugs. The boy leaned in closer, ignoring his own gym clothes. Eyes staring at him, scrutinizing this time.

_"You didn't sleep last night?"_

He could feel his own eyes bulging and burning, plump from all the torment just hours ago.

**"Yeah... sort of."**

_"We can talk about it at lunch if you want."_

He smiled at the offer when there was a small creaking in the door. Quickly, he moved away from the kitten boy to his own locker, keeping his expressions dry, uninterested. Soon, the rest of the football team flooded in the place. Such a powerful energy building up.

High school was always a drag. To be honest, he thought everything was a drag, but the kitten boy made it less boring.

"Chen! There you are! Let's all shower!"

_"I already did! Ew! Don't touch me with your dirty hands!"_

It was easier to befriend the boy than the rest of the school. Maybe, he was just a jerk himself. Everyone gathered around the kitten boy and worked on their own clothing, laughing and teasing. He was on the other side with a few other boys, minding their own business.

Being the poor kid around here meant nothing. There was a lot to work with except being blamed for all the stealing.

A final sigh and he closed his locker, walking out of there. It hurt knowing that the kitten boy was laughing, and it wasn't with him, it wasn't because of him.

The two of them were sitting in the field where plenty of students spent their time reading or just chilling out. The gentle sunlight shone through the leaves of the huge oak tree, spilling the rays on his face as he looked up.

He was behind him stretching his legs out, letting the tip of his toes grazed the boy's waist slightly.

_"You're not talking."_

**"Sorry, maybe later."**

The kitten boy just turned back to look at him with the kindest smile.

_"It's alright. Take your time."_

The wind brushed his dark raven hair away so perfectly. The youthful expression that gave him so much. It was a second of the lingering stare, but it filled him with so much love that...

**"I wish I could kiss you right now."**

With all the sunlight beaming on his pale skin and the flush suddenly burning across his face, it was as if the boy was pulled straight out of a painting.

He laid himself down on the grass. He couldn't keep looking. Eyes were all around. Just touching the soft skin on his waist by the tip of his toes was enough.

The rest of the day they spent in silence with the kitten boy reading his textbooks and him just staring up at the sunny sky through the dancing leaves of the tree.

A glimmer of happiness that wouldn't last.

🌃 19XX 🌃

Jongin had to leave, run away.

His father wasn’t going to care. He would think that there would be one less useless mouth to feed. His father would be fine on his own.

His friends weren’t going to notice.

Chen would, however.

The kitten boy always knew.

_“Why?! You’re so fucking selfish, you know that, Kim Jongin!?”_

Jongin remembered the red-rimmed eyes, tear-stained cheeks, torn and tatter voice crying out at him, raven hair glimmering with the first snow. Even in so much pain, Chen was beautiful. He always was and always will be.

It was inevitable their separation. Jongin only wished that he could lessen the pain he left Chen now.

Jongin couldn’t live without him, of course, but Jongin could live without being with him.

As Jongin walked along the river bank, eyes wandering, looking for a place to sleep for the night, his body shivered not to the midnight breeze but to the eyes that had threatened him.

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐧. 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞.

He leaned back on the dirt, eyes watching the moon, lighting up the river before him.

Jongin believed it, believed that he didn’t deserve Chen.

Chen was everything. Jongin revolved around him, but it was too good to be true after all. This love could only go so far.

As the river flowed with the splashes of water being the only thing keeping night colourful with gentle ambience, Jongin fell asleep to the tears wetting his cheeks and the phantom touch of what he once had.

🌉 19XX 🌉

Jongin had been naïve.

Of course, it wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be.

It didn’t take Jongin long to recognize those jaws, those cheeks.

No matter how much the news tried to blur him, Jongin would always recognize him.

Jongin thought for sure that this would be over. All the pain. All the sadness. That if he just left, nothing worse would happen.

However, he found himself back in the neighborhood where he had once held his hands down the street beneath the moonlight all those months ago.

Jongin didn’t care if he was reported trespassing.

He needed to know, so he stepped through the front door where it was left ajar.

Jongin didn’t understand Chinese, but he remembered those three characters anywhere.

“𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥- 𝐨𝐡, 𝐲𝐨𝐮...” It was Yixing who found him.

 ** **“It’s not true. Tell me it’s not true.”**** Because Jongin had been okay with living _without_ _being with_ him.

When Yixing didn’t say anything, looking away from Jongin, the young man knew this was it because Jongin wasn’t ready to live in a world _without_ him.

****“No… Please. It’s not true…”** **

“𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤, 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞.”

His eyes were already blurring as he stared blankly back at Yixing.

****“It’s your fault.”** **

And when Yixing’s eyes faltered, Jongin knew it was true.

****“It’s my fault.”** **

And when Yixing let out a heavy sigh, Jongin knew that too was true.

****“It’s both our fault… Oh, my god…”** **

It was midnight when Jongin walked back to the bridge where Chen was last seen. Breathing. Alive.

As he made his way to the spot where Chen had stood, Jongin remembered all the things those kitten lips used to tell him. That Zhang Yichen was going to be a marine biologist. That Zhang Yichen was going to save all the sea creatures. That Zhang Yichen was going to keep the ocean clean, the sea beautiful. That Zhang Yichen was going to be with him through everything together.

But Jongin knew it was his fault.

Jongin had always been selfish. He knew that now.

Finally, he stood on the other side of the bridge railings, breathing in the midnight breeze brushing away his hair, the moonlight shining down upon him seemingly out of poetic mockery that even the first snow was joining in on it.

Jongin smiled through his silent tears.

Chen had always loved the water, everything about it. It made sense. Even in the end, Chen stayed the same.

And it made Jongin gripped the straps of his backpack harder.

All the times they spent together came to this.

The river below staring back up at him. Jongin wasn’t sure if it was taunting him with its beautiful reflection of the moonlight rippling above the surface or mocking him with its deceptive depth where he would soon be.

But Jongin wasn’t going to keep Chen waiting. Not after all of this.

So Jongin was already falling, feeling what Chen would’ve felt. Terrified. The height felt endless. Like Jongin would keep falling forever. A torment.

Then, the back of his head hit the surface, knocking all the air out of his lungs, which was perfect. He didn’t need the air anyway.

His eyes saw the light of the moon slowly dimmed as he sank deeper and deeper.

The water was consuming him, swallowing him, taking him down towards where Chen was waiting.

Unlike Chen, Jongin was a good swimmer, but that wouldn’t be necessary.

Jongin simply let his backpack filled with all the dirt and rocks he had picked from all the places he and Chen had been together drag him down further the depth of it all.

Perhaps, the next time they met would be better than this.

Jongin could only wish that by being with Chen this way, he would have a chance in the afterlife if there was any.

Perhaps, the next time would be less painful.

As Jongin’s vision blurred, and his lungs were filled with water, he held on to the last memories of Chen’s voice singing him to sleep during the chilly afternoons.

Jongin wasn’t going to let Chen be alone ever again.

Never ever would the beautiful boy be alone again.

Jongin would always be there, wherever Chen was.

His sole purpose.

And then, everything went dark.

It was as peaceful as Jongin expected it to be. 

🌹

Jongin opened his eyes.

It was Minseok he first saw.

“Jongin! Oh, thank god!”

It drew a small chuckle out of the old detective when the old doctor just foregone all protocols and hugged him while Jongin was still trying to sit up from Minseok’s workbench. A familiar place.

The old doctor had always been fond of him. Jongin remembered the times Yixing let Minseok see him in the lab, his feline eyes had always been fascinated with him, tears filled with nostalgia.

“Wait, what’s the last thing you remember?” a desperate tone once the old doctor drew back from the embrace. Minseok should be getting more sleep with all the wrinkles and eye bags he had.

Jongin smiled. It was so much easier somehow. It felt like the burden had been lifted once Jongin accepted everything around him.

“Jiki fixing my battery.” Jongin still remembered clearly the way Jiki looked at him before everything went dark. “I kept Sehun and Jongdae safe… where’s Jongdae?”

“Oh…” Minseok didn’t answer, still choked up at Jongin’s state. “Please Jongin, promise me next time you would come to me when you need fixing. I can’t stand you taking all the damage … and just… leave your vitals dead like that…”

Now that Minseok had mentioned it. Jongin did _feel_ a lot _more._ The skin cells on his body were all functioning again instead of feeling numbness he left festered from all the missions in the past few years.

The old detective had been stubborn the last few years before his retirement, leaving all the holes and cracks in his body. Jongin had been growing destructive at the impending arrival of Jongdae. What his _best friend_ had promised him. A gift Yixing had said.

_“Jongin?”_

****“Hey-”** **

Jongin knew it was the same Jongdae. Unafraid, leaping into Jongin’s open arms. It was a little awkward the angle with Jongin still sitting on Minseok’s android workbench, but they managed. Jongdae had always known how to make them work, body slotting comfortably with Jongin like he had always been there like he was supposed to be there.

And Jongin returned the same desperation, hugging Jongdae ever closer, breathing in the gentle ocean in Jongdae’s blonde hair, feeling the soft flesh moulding against his, letting the weight of this beautiful creature ground him.

It was when Jongin turned his head to graze his lips against Jongdae’s ears that the smaller shivered against him, and Jongin finally registered the crying sounds spilling into his ears to be Jongdae’s beautiful voice.

_“You’re so selfish, Kim Jongin, you know that?”_

Jongin only clawed at Jongdae’s back as an answer, unable to let go of him just yet.

_“I was so scared… I thought I was going to lose you…”_

**“Oh... Jongdae…”** Jongin slowly leaned back and studied the features of Jongdae’s face. The brows slanted upward, the eyes trying to blink away tears, the lips trembling of the implications of his own statements. ****“Yixing made us, so we could be together.”****

And Jongdae keened at his words, eyes lighting up, but there was something there holding him back. Doubt.

Of course, Jongdae had every right to doubt. Jongin had been doing that to him for so long.

Though Jongin himself didn’t truly know the real intentions of Yixing, he knew one thing that he and Jongdae had always been together.

Jongin remembered the first time he woke up into the world, staring at Jongdae who was just as curious.

𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐨, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦, 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧-𝐚𝐡.

His old friend had always been a complex man. Jongin never truly understood why he was created in this world. And perhaps only he, Jongdae, and Yixing knew that Jongdae wasn’t the only android that was first created with emotions.

Both Jongin and Jongdae were the first androids on this earth. Something that even Minseok didn’t know. Most knew that Jongdae was the first true android, capable of human emotions while Jongin was the first detective android, capable of making human judgments.

It was strange that although the times Jongin and Jongdae had during their first year of being androids were little since Yixing had separated them for _testing_ , Jongin still felt a strange pull towards Jongdae.

Jongdae too felt that pull, and he had accepted his fate with open arms while Jongin stayed doubtful. Part of him wanted so bad to be right beside his soulmate as Yixing would sometimes call them. Part of him wanted to run away from Jongdae.

All the things Jongin had to learn from Yixing... it kept him on edge. Sometimes, he knew what his old friend wanted. Sometimes, his old friend would just lash out on him.

Jongin only knew so much from his deduction of the past, and Yixing had always made it more complicated. A strange character he was.

The first purpose Jongin had as an android was to be with Jongdae, but Yixing had kept him away from his reach. To train, Yixing had claimed.

Even when they were finally together, Yixing still took away part of Jongdae just to spite Jongin.

The old detective never wanted to acknowledge it, but he knew it was Yixing that had planned it all out this way. And it worked, testing Jongin’s emotions to the limit.

This love-hate relationship between him and his old friend had been there.

But Jongin knew now that he wasn’t bound by Yixing or the world anymore.

Jongin gazed upon Jongdae who had now stopped crying, face blushing from Jongin’s gentle hold. There was no point in holding back anymore. Jongin didn’t have to deny anything anymore.

The old detective let Jongdae seeped into him, the way Jongdae stared at him as if he was the world, the curls in his blonde hair, the soft lashes on his lids, the parted lips breathing soft air against his.

****“You’ll never lose me.”** **

_“Jongin…”_

****“And I’ll never let you go.”** **

Jongdae then clutched his biceps, eyes now searching for Jongin’s truth, and whimpered when he realized the old detective was sincere with his words.

****“I love you.”** **

And Jongdae broke down once more. It was too much. Jongin had hurt him too much, and it took Jongin just as much to say it. The old detective let Jongdae cry into his embrace, feeling the raw relief Jongdae spilled upon him. Through tear-soaked lashes, Jongdae gazed at him with so much love. It never wavered the fire in Jongdae’s eyes. And Jongin knew then that Jongdae’s love for him was true.

Beautiful. Jongdae’s whimpers in between kisses. It made Jongin’s heart soar. Jongdae’s hiccups through tears as Jongin’s lips burned upon his skin. It was as if the sun was shining upon his soul, Jongdae’s giggles in between ticklish kisses. The flowers in his heart bloomed as Jongdae held on him, coming on to straddle him on the workbench.

Jongin was somewhat proud as Jongdae stared down his now fixed up body. Minseok really did patch everything up for him. All the scars, the cracks, the rust, the imperfection was nonexistent upon his once broken body. Jongin felt as if he was reborn once more like that same first android all those decades ago. He had made it this far from baring scars to letting it shed away along with his hesitation.

 _“You love me?”_ Jongdae was still searching in his eyes as he gazed down upon Jongin, shifting to sit comfortably, straddling Jongin’s laps. His hands held Jongin’s face so gently it made Jongin’s body shudder.

****“I do.”** **

_“I love you, too. Jongin-ah… I love you so much. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way, but I know somehow that I’ve always loved you.”_

It was the tears of happiness that Jongin smiled at. Jongin understood exactly what Jongdae had meant.

Jongin didn’t know why they were so drawn to each other. All Jongin knew was that he was modelled after a human with the same name while Jongdae was modelled after Yixing’s son.

He knew what Yixing’s true intention with his _son_ was. No parents wanted to see their children die before them. Yixing, too, was just as selfish as Jongin had been before.

Jongin, however, didn’t understand what his own true role in Yixing’s plan was.

But there was no need to doubt. Not anymore.

_“I don’t know what Yixing had said to you to keep you away from me… but I want to let you know that I love you. Don’t leave. Please don’t leave me, Jongin.”_

There was no more restraint in Jongdae now that Jongin was listening. And Jongin kept him anchored in his arms as he sobbed through the words.

_“Even if you hate me, please don’t leave me alone…”_

****“I won’t leave you.”** **

_“You’ll stay?”_

****“Forever.”** **

🌹

In Minseok’s office, Sehun sat timidly in between Jongin and Jongdae as everything unravelled. Taemin being the detective in place of Jongin gathered everything he could from the two androids.

And true to his words, Taemin didn’t ask for Sehun’s testimonies or confirmation in honour of Jiki’s promise.

No memory probing was conducted. Even if both Aeho and Biho offered willingly just to save Sehun, Taemin wouldn’t have it, respecting the androids’ right to privacy.

Jongin smiled in pride at the detective he had trained.

Taemin was the better upgrade after all. He would be the second android detective in Busan, leading his human and android team to keep the city safe. Jongin was certain that Taemin would do just fine without him.

Jongin had already pieced everything together, most of the story just from observing, but hearing it straight from the androids’ flat tones irked him greatly.

Jiki had originally been one of the early prototypes of female household androids on sales decades ago. She had been purchased for the purpose of keeping Sehun’s mother company… and the father as well. Taemin stopped Biho from elaborating on the difference. Sehun didn’t need to hear _everything._

For many years, Jiki was upgraded and stayed within the mansion, a companion to the mother.

However, it all went wrong once the mother was pregnant. The mother had a feeling something was going to be different. And she had Jiki reprogrammed with another purpose. Protecting Sehun.

It wasn’t until Sehun turned 9 that suddenly the father looked at the kid differently.

And Taemin had to stop Biho again from elaborating.

Once the mother got sick and passed away, Jiki began planning out an escape.

It was then that Jongin remembered a certain android all those years ago.

Jongin had been investigating the case of the death of a woman who turned out to be Sehun’s mother all these years. It was anonymously reported. Jongin never knew that she had even been pregnant. And Jongin wasn’t even supposed to find the mansion in the first place, but somehow Jongin got there.

Jongin remembered he had little Chanyeol with him, waiting in the car then. Digging through his memories, he remembered questioning the father whom he didn’t even recognize as _the_ mob boss. That case Jongin never solved. Everything about the mansion was _too_ normal, and younger detective Jongin couldn’t have noticed the eariness of _being too normal._

He was leaving the mansion when he spotted a lady nearby his car, looking into the window, playing with Chanyeol. As Jongin got closer, he noticed the maid uniform and the cookies in her hands.

“ᴏʜ… ɪꜱ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ? ɪ’ᴍ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ. ʜᴇ’ꜱ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀᴅᴏʀᴀʙʟᴇ.” The prettiest smile she sent towards Chanyeol. Her long hair grazed her shoulders beautifully. Everything about her felt so… motherly. Jongin felt safe around her strangely. Even Chanyeol was taken by her, but then again, Chanyeol was taken by everything.

****“Not really, but he is my partner in crime.”** **

“ᴀᴡᴇ, ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴀʀᴇɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏɴᴇ ᴄᴜᴛᴇ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴅᴇᴛᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ, ʏᴇᴏʟɪᴇ ʙᴏʏ~~” Chanyeol was blushing so deeply from the woman’s compliments shyly nibbling eating away the cookies she offered before she turned to Jongin.

“ɪ ꜱᴇᴇ. ᴡᴇʟʟ... ᴅᴇᴛᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ, ᴍᴀʏ ɪ ᴀꜱᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ?”

Jongin had already interrogated her on his way to leave, but she had stopped him then.

**“Of course.”**

“ɪꜱ ɪᴛ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ?”

Jongin exhaled at the question. It was a sore subject. Humans around Jongin had been ruthless on an android taking on such a _tough_ job, saying that Jongin would never be capable of handling cases without a human heart.

Anything to bring Jongin down everyone had said. An android slut. An android cocksucker. An android pedophile.

Yixing only asked him if he still wanted to be a detective, telling him to man the fuck up. Minseok could only offer a smile, telling Jongin to focus on doing his job well.

Words meant nothing. They had to mean nothing Jongin, so he could function well. But Jongin _felt_. He wasn’t sure if his feelings were real, but it hurt. And throughout the decades, it never stopped hurting. Though Jongin stopped caring, the pain was still there, taking roots so deep that only Jongdae could take it back out.

****“Yes.”** **

Jongin was ready to defend himself and Chanyeol. Maybe, he should’ve left, but then the maid made this expression that even in the advertisement for her models in billboards didn’t have.

“ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀɴ ᴀɴᴅʀᴏɪᴅ. ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ. ᴡʜʏ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ꜱᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴꜱ?”

It took Jongin aback because it was rare that someone would actually deflect the rumors of him taking children into his apartment for … other purposes.

Jongin smiled fondly back at Chanyeol who was trying to get his attention, happily bouncing on the front seat of his car.

****“He’s a child after all. No one’s there to take care of him, so I will.”** **

“ᴛʜᴀᴛ’ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴀꜱᴏɴɪɴɢ?” it was endearing the way she tilted her head.

Jongin nodded, holding back a smile.

“ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴀʏ ɪᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ, ɪᴛ’ꜱ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴅᴏᴡɴᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ…”

It made Jongin chuckled. So this was why Yixing found it so difficult _raising_ Jongin. Teaching androids emotions was a feat, but Jongin shook his head. Teaching humans emotions was also a feat. Everyone needed to learn about the way of the world because no matter how _simple_ being nice was, some still needed to be taught _how to be_ nice.

****“We’re all learning both us and humans. Surely, the data make us different, but at the end of the day, we all just need a hug.”** **

It was something that Chanyeol said to him, and Jongin agreed wholeheartedly.

The maid watched him silently, seemingly processing his words.

****“Love freely and love generously. It’s never a bad thing to do.”** **

“ʀɪɢʜᴛ.”

So all those years ago… She was Jiki.

Aeho continued telling Taemin that Jiki had come up with a plan then, seeing how each time the father got closer and closer to touch Sehun.

 ** **“** 𝚂𝚑𝚎** **𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍** **𝚝𝚘** **𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎** **𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎** **𝚂𝚎𝚑𝚞𝚗** **𝚐𝚎𝚝** **𝚘𝚞𝚝** **𝚘𝚏** **𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎** **𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚗** **.** **𝙺𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐** **𝚝𝚑𝚎** **𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛** **𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍** **𝚋𝚎** **𝚝𝚘𝚘** **𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚝** **.** **𝚂𝚑𝚎** **𝚊𝚗𝚍** **𝚂𝚎𝚑𝚞𝚗** **𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗** **'** **𝚝** **𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎** **𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗** **𝚘𝚗** **𝚝𝚑𝚎** **𝚛𝚞𝚗** **𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛** **.** **𝙸𝚝** **'** **𝚜** **𝚗𝚘𝚝** **𝚊** **𝚠𝚊𝚢** **𝚝𝚘** **𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎** **. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚗𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍, 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞. **”****

Jongin had always been on her mind ever since then. The perfect father figure to Sehun. Maybe, that was why he was chosen.

It was a feat for an android to plan out such an escape. It was a long time coming, but seeing how the whole mob was annihilated albeit in a gruesome and unethical fashion. It showed what androids were truly capable of. And Jongin knew that they weren’t too far off from humans. They were both creatures of violence and kindness, contradictions balanced upon a strange equilibrium.

****“ᴬⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉⁿ ʷᵉ ᶜᵃᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ! ᴬˢ ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃⁿ ˢᵉᵉ, ʷᵉ’ʳᵉ ᵈⁱᶠᶠᵉʳᵉⁿᵗ ᵛᵉʳˢⁱᵒⁿˢ ᵒᶠ ˢᵉʰᵘⁿ, ᵃⁿᵈ ʷʰᵉⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵃᵗʰᵉʳ ᶠᵉˡᵗ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ⁱᵗ, ʰᵉ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ ᶜʰᵒᵒˢᵉ—”** **

“That— is okay. You don’t have to explain further, sir.” Taemin held out his hand to stop Biho again, swallowing back the urge to pounce on the already dead father. Jongin could see the intent in Taemin’s eyes.

Jongin had been in the same situation. It was hard keeping emotions away from the cases he worked on. No matter how many people told him the feelings weren’t real, Jongin knew that even his analytical mind with no emotions would still gladly take matters into his own hands and bring justice to the victims. But they couldn’t act on it, of course. Laws existed for a reason after all even if they didn’t work half of the time.

“Then, you know… You don’t have to… uh… look like Sehun anymore.” Taemin stared at Aeho and Biho. “All of this to protect him, right? There’s no need anymore.”

Because a bunch of androids killing off humans would cause an uproar, and they would need all the protection they could find. It was Taemin who offered to secure everyone involved in a lifetime victim and witness protection program along with surveillance from the human and android SWAT teams. Well, more like _forced_ everyone into it. However, it was part of Jiki’s request to keep Sehun clear from everything. Taemin was only upholding his end of the bargain. 

“What were your original models? I could reconfigure you back the way you were.” Minseok leaned forward in his chair, eyes fond at the two androids.

 _“What’s your name?”_ Jongdae asked, a bright voice as always. _“Besides, to protect, of course.”_

 ****“** ** ****𝙸**** ** **𝚊𝚖 𝙺𝚛𝚒𝚜, 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝙰: 𝙰𝚎𝚑𝚘.”** **

The taller more mature _Sehun_ had always had this robotic tone. It was somewhat endearing to Jongin. Like a country person living in the city for decades refusing to let the environment change his accent.

****“ᴶⁱᵏⁱ ⁿᵃᵐᵉᵈ ᵐᵉ ᴸᵘʰᵃⁿ, ᵇᵘᵗ ʷʰᵉⁿ ᴵ ʰᵃᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵉᵗ ʳᵉᵐᵒᵈᵉˡᵉᵈ, ᵐʸ ⁿᵃᵐᵉ ʷᵃˢ ᴾʳᵒʲᵉᶜᵗ ᴮ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉⁿ ᴮⁱʰᵒ.”** **

For days, Sehun and Jongdae were nowhere to be seen. They were still at Minseok’s android laboratory, of course. However, they were staying away in a different room. But that was to be expected. The teen needed to breathe everything in. After being in the dark for so long, he had to face all of this in one sitting.

And as much as Jongin wanted to be Jongdae, he didn’t have to worry about losing him anymore. Sehun needed Jongdae more than Jongin needed him at the moment.

Though Jongin would never admit out loud to the whole world that Jongin wanted nothing more than to hold on to the blonde kitten boy all day for the rest of his life, Jongin would hold on to that thought only for Jongdae.

While the two were away, Jongin stayed in Minseok’s lab the whole time, helping him remodel the two androids back to their true forms.

They finished working on Luhan first because Kris was adamant about going after Luhan was done. Perhaps, it wasn’t just Sehun that Kris was supposed to protect.

Luhan stood by Jongin as they waited for Minseok to ask them if he needed anything to work on Kris. The old doctor was working on his legs at the moment. Kris had insisted that Minseok didn’t have to match the height, not wanting to stress the old man into doing too much work. However, Minseok wouldn’t be Minseok without being so stubborn. When he offered to remodel, he meant it.

“Did Jiki say anything before she left?” Luhan asked, eyes looking up at Jongin’s expectantly.

And it brought Jongin back to how surreal it had been, seeing Jiki unfold before him.

The moment Jiki hands were on him, Jongin was in awe at how they unraveled themselves into strings of steel and parts of synthetic flesh. As she worked to save Jongin’s battery from combusting, Jiki looked into Jongin’s eyes, a smile. A genuine smile directed at Sehun and then back at Jongin.

Jongin knew that look. He had seen it so many times.

Accepting.

Unlike Jongin who had finally accepted the reality around him, letting his heart want what it wanted, Jiki accepted her own fate. Death.

Jongin smiled somberly at the android in her last moments, watched in silence as Jiki finished fixing his battery and proceeding to fry her own chips and circuits, hand digging into her own chest, crushing her own battery pack.

Maybe, Jongin should’ve stopped her.

It had been something that Jongin had always done for all those troubled teens and even adults, but Jongin knew that it was easier convincing teenagers than grown-ups, much less an android.

****ɪ’ᴍ ꜱᴏʀʀʏ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴜʀᴅᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴀɴᴅʀᴏɪᴅꜱ. ɪ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴀꜱᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴡᴇʟʟ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ᴜꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴛᴇᴄʜɴᴏʟᴏɢʏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ꜰᴜʟʟᴇꜱᴛ ᴘᴏᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴀʟ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡɪʟʟ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʜᴀᴛᴇᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴀʏ… ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴀɴ ʜᴏɴᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴅᴇᴛᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ. ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴏʀᴅ, ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛʀᴜꜱᴛ.** **

****

****“She wanted me to look after you all,”**** Jongin answered. There wasn’t much more he could add, and it was observing from the unmoving expression on Luhan’s face that he had already known what she was going to say.

“She’d always been selfish.” Luhan’s voice was small, eyes frowning staring back at Kris who looking back at him with the same saddened expression.

“I tried convincing her to let Sehun know,” Kris spoke up, looking away from Minseok who was effectively blocking out all the dialogue as he worked on his legs. “If only she just had explained herself.”

And the conversation ended there.

Jongin saw the look in Jiki’s eyes and already knew what she was going to do, and there was no way that could change her mind from taking away her own life.

But it wasn’t something Jongin to decide.

Perhaps, her purpose had been fulfilled. And perhaps, she took her own life not because she was in despair, but perhaps she was in elation, knowing that she had finally killed the man that had tormented Sehun, her and her androids’ lives, and leaving them in Jongin’s hands. Perhaps, she was done at the end of her road, having enough taste of life.

Whatever she thought of then, Jongin knew one thing for sure that she did everything out of love.

It was later in the night that Jongdae finally emerged, letting Jongin hold him close, eyes watching the stars above upon the rooftop, drowning in kisses and sweet promises of a forever love, washing away all the pain and despair Jongin had been embracing for so long. 

Just like Jiki, Jongin too would do everything he could to protect Jongdae, but unlike Jiki, it didn’t mean leaving Jongdae behind, it meant being with him. 

🌊 20XX 🌊

Jongin stared at the horizon, falling in love with the clear blue sky and happy clouds painting across the clean canvas, the blue sea endless, aesthetic to his eyes. The sea breeze enveloped him in her cozy embrace, his bare skin lighting up by the heat of the sun, his hands gripped at the railing of Chanyeol’s cabin cruiser.

He could hear the bantering of Minseok and the other two androids bickering behind him as they laid upon the front of the boat. Luhan and Kris had been pestering the old doctor ever since he let the two of them be his assistants to his android lab.

And Jongin could only shake his head in amusement when he looked up at the top deck where Sehun was trying to sunbathe in peace as Chanyeol and Baekhyun tried to pester him from the cockpit below.

And although there were some police boats surrounded them from afar, Jongin knew this was as perfect as it could get.

_“Hey.”_

A small voice from below called out to him.

Jongin smiled down at Jongdae floating at the surface, peach rose strands of hair beautifully damped, body porcelain against the blue of the sea. It hurt Jongin in the most beautiful way every time his eyes landed upon his lover.

****“Hey.”** **

_“Come with me.”_

A mischievous curl on his kitten lips.

And Jongdae delved back down the sea, completely submerging, leaving Jongin’s line of sight.

Jongin didn’t need to think as he climbed over the railing and let himself fall, gravitating towards Jongdae, legs piercing through the surface, the sea swallowing him whole.

His eyes opened, watching intently the sea below, all of its color enticing him to the bottom.

Jongdae was nowhere to be found, so Jongin swam.

He had to find Jongdae. Jongdae was waiting for him, and he shouldn’t be keeping him waiting.

As he swam deeper and deeper, where the light slowly dimmed, he found comfort in the weight of the sea embracing him, the sea creatures curiously whirled around him before swimming away.

Behind one of the vibrant corals was Jongdae, and Jongin had to remember that he didn’t need air to breathe as he struggled to take in the colors of the universe gliding beautifully upon his bare chest.

_You found me._

Jongin smiled when Jongdae’s eyes crinkled into pretty crescents, his pupils dilating, eyes burning bright blue as the sea, skin changing with the colorful corals beneath them.

No longer Jongin kept Jongdae waiting. Jongin would go anywhere Jongdae went.

Here underwater where Jongin found him happily swimming with the sea creatures was their haven.

****

****Of course, and I’ll never stop finding you.** **

At this moment, Jongin forgot the sea, the creatures, the corals all around them.

He could only see Jongdae in his ethereal beauty smiling at him as he slowly swam forth, slotting their body close to one another.

His hands trailed upon his lover’s skin, eyes lost in the universe that was Jongdae, his out of this world colors dancing upon his skin, his peach rose hair flowing with the sea, his smaller hands holding his face gently underwater.

_I love you._

Their foreheads pressed against one another, and Jongin’s lips curled at the way Jongdae softly stole kisses from him.

****

****I love you.** **

* * *

🌸

❝ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ   
ａｂｏｕｔ   
ｕｓ   
ｆｅｅｌｓ   
ｌｉｋｅ   
ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ   
ｏｕｔ   
ｏｆ   
ｔｈｉｓ   
ｗｏｒｌｄ❞

🌸

_Inspired lyrics:_

🌸

[ **Something About Us** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOS9aOIXPEk)

_It might not be the right time  
I might not be the right one  
But there's something about us I want to say  
Cause there's something between us anyway_

🌸

[ **Plastic Love** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vunm-W-ovLc)

_A sudden kiss in the morning,  
_ _a tender gaze in the evening  
Beyond my range of comprehension  
until you brought to attention   
Greetings always followed by sweet goodbyes,  
all must meet its end   
Baby, can't you just relax?  
Don't look back, don't hurry! _

🌹

[ **Instant Crush** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5uQMwRMHcs)

_I didn't want to be the one to forget_   
_I thought of everything I'd never regret  
A little time with you is all that I get  
That's all we need because it's all we can take _

_And we will never be alone again  
'Cause it doesn't happen every day  
Kinda counted on you being a friend_   
_Kinda given up on giving away_   
_Now I thought about what I wanna say_   
_But I never really know where to go_   
_So I chained myself to a friend_   
_'Cause there's nowhere else I could go_

🌹

[ **Fleeting Light** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm0Is8wQLHE)

_The sun will one day grow cold  
Light will slowly fade away   
The noise in time will be still   
Love lost in the decay   
  
With the wind in my hair and the windows down,   
I lost my cares   
And the world outside is so full of life,   
I lose my fears   
  
Life's too short to sit around and wait   
Take a chance and live in the moment_

🌸

[ **Beyond** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3T0NqvdUiWI)

_You are the night, you are the ocean  
You are the light behind the cloud  
You are the end and the beginning  
_ _A world with time is not allowed  
  
There's no such thing as complication  
To find a way we'll lose control  
Remember love's our only mission  
This is the journey of the soul  
_ _  
The perfect song is framed with silence  
It speaks of places never seen  
You hold your promise long forgotten  
It is the birthplace of your dreams_

🌷

[ **Within** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5l2ChAqRDg)

_There are so many things that I don't understand_   
_There's a world within in me that I cannot explain_   
_Many rooms to explore, but the doors look the same_   
_I am lost, I can't even remember my name_

_I've been for sometime, looking for someone_   
_I need to know now, please tell me who I am_

🌷

[ **Fly me to the moon** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyltLy8lDPs)

_Fill my heart with song and let me sing forevermore  
You are all I long for  
All I worship and adore  
In other words, please be true  
In other words, I love you_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by "Plastic Love," "Something About Us," "Instant Crush," and many other Daft Punk songs.
> 
> I was drowning the feeling of a beautiful but hopeless love of "Something About Us" and a seemingly happy but fake love of "Plastic Love," and this has been my interpretation of the two songs combined. These two songs sound like opposites of their own elements and of each other as well, and I was in love with them for so long that this came out of my depressed head. 
> 
> I'd like to think that this is a "happy" ending, but think of it as whatever you wish it to be. If you made it this far down, I'm sorry for hurting all of you in the process.


End file.
